Plan your raids and relationships carefully

Chapter 1

Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi, Hijikata Toushiro......

...........needless to say was having a bad day. Most of his days would be qualified as bad by the normal person but he was the vice-commander of the Shinsengumi, the special police force of Edo who might as well be a group of toddlers including their commander and without Hijikata they would surely perish in some dark ditch in Edo from where even the Gods of Mayo wouldn’t be able to rescue them. So what qualifies as bad for a normal person is actually calm, relaxing day for Hijikata. Only those blessed with the power of mayo were capable of handling such "bad".

Living in close quarters with the animals of the Shinsengumi is reason enough for a bad day but today especially Hijikata is in a bad mood. The reason being their recently failed raid of an Amanto organisation said to be selling all kinds of amanto drugs and souvenir of the not so good kind on the black market. The plans for the raid were being perfectly executed but halfway through some weird looking amanto (when are they not?) exploded some kind of smoke bomb. The explosion caught everyone by surprise and by the time they realised what was going on everyone had inhaled quite a bit of the suspicious smoke. The aftermath of which resulted in the following events- Yamazaki started playing badminton, Harada started growing hair and their commander went missing and in his place was a gorilla! And Hijikata.....Hijikata started seeing azuki bean paste instead of mayo on his rice and that's how he knew he had to get his men to retreat!

Later it was found out that the smoke was nothing else but marijuana albeit a bit concentrated than necessary.

Needless to say Hijikata was furious!

Police officers smoking weed and tripping was a disgrace and more so on a raid and the knowledge that he was also a part of it was all the more infuriating for him. He had commanded everyone to commit seppku and tried to do it himself too. But thank god for the in-house gorilla!

Hijikata was dumb like that...sometimes.

Now back to the present.

Hijikata's sore mood is rapidly reaching new heights. The report writing for the failed raid is a grim reminder, more so on his day off. He maybe a workaholic but he doesn't like missing his day off because he can take a break from all the nuisance in the barracks. Okita is as usual making an attempt on his life instead of writing his report. The male gorilla of the Shinsengumi is missing probably stalking the female gorilla from the Shimura dojo. Yamazaki is writing essays. And Hijikata feels like the only sane person in the barracks.

He has been chain smoking since he started writing his report. And so naturally he runs out of cigarettes and which in turn pisses him off more. He needs more cigarettes. He leaves his desk and heads for the vending machine.

The vending machine at the barracks seem to have run out of his favourite brand, mayoboros and this adds more fuel to his already boiling rage. He wishes he could beat the one responsible for stocking the vending machine, preferably Yamazaki even though it isn't his duty. He reins in his rage before he beats up Sagaru for something he isn't responsible for ("Why me?” Hijikata can hear Yamazaki cry with fear.) So he has no other choice but to go out and buy some and maybe a walk will help him cool down.

Hijikata goes back to his room to get his wallet and mobile in case of any emergency, fixes his kimono a bit and heads out from the barracks.

He walks through Edo in search of his favourite brand and it seems like the whole world is out to piss him off today. He has to wander through Edo some before he finally finds a vending machine with mayoboros. He can already feel some of his rage begin to dissipate.

He is buying cigarettes from the vending machine when he hears a really annoying and really familiar voice.

"Ooo Ogushi-kun...How much tax did you steal today?"