Why? Why me? Why?
He was everything. He was life. With him I was living on a high of addiction and pure lust. I felt as if my feet ached after a long walk. I wanted him for so long. I waited for so long for him to tell me and that night, sitting on my porch in the ebony night he came and sat down with me.
"You're mine Lana, runaway with me".
I fell into his arms and he grabbed my hand and led me to his car. It was a Friday night, the rain was sprinkling on the windshield as we drove along the highway towards the city.
"Where are we going to go?"
"Does it matter? Are you not happy with just being with me?"
"I'm happy, I'll always be happy if I'm with you".
He leant over and kissed me. He should've been focusing on the road but he didn't care, nor did I. We got to the city near midnight and we went to a bar. He got really drunk and when he told me to get in the car I refused. He drove off leaving me there.
I felt so alone walking through the city streets that Friday night. I had him and I lost him. I should've gotten in the car with him. When I'm with him I feel so safe. I wonder if I told him you're mine if he could make it all seem like home. I kept walking and walking. I heard a car horn and turned around. He pulled up beside me.
"Get in".
I got in the car and we drove until we reached farmland. We pulled into a restop and I got out to stretch my legs. He followed and grabbed me by my shoulder then he wrapped his hand around my neck to hold me there.
"If you ever disrespect me and tell me no again, I'll leave. You don't want that and neither do I". He let me go and I gasped for breath.
"I love you" I said in-between difficult breaths.
"I love you too Lana".
We sat in the grassy fields and got high under the stars. He rolled on top of me and kissed me. He kissed my neck and I could still feel his hand wrapped around, choking me. I rolled on top of him and started to choke him.
"Don't make me sad, don't make me cry, or I swear...". He moved me and held me on the ground hands above my head.
"You swear what? What will you do Lana? Kill me? You're insane"
"I heard you like your girls insane?"
"I do".
He kissed me and we made love in the field. We drove in the morning towards the west. We talked. I needed to know why me why he decided to love me. When I tried to ask he got mad. I needed to find the answers but I couldn't. I've always been so confused when it comes to him, ever since I was a little child I feel.
We got to the next city and he got drunk again. There were bikers and he picked a fight with one. He pulled out his gun and threatened to shoot him. The biker said go ahead. Next thing I knew I was running towards the car. We drove and drove. The car eventually ran out of petrol. We pulled over and it started to rain again. We hadnt said a word. He put his head in my lap and he began to cry.
"Never leave me Lana. I love you, you're all I have. Promise me when we go we go together". He wanted to die with me. He wanted to be with me until the end of his days, our days.
"I'll never leave you, ever". After all we're born to die right?
We walked in the rain until we reached a motel, not far from where we ditched his car. As he was in the shower I realised something, sometimes love isn't enough when the road gets tough but I can see that once I was blind. I was lost but now I'm found because of him. I may be crazy but the road is long in life so why cant I just drive through high and happy in love.
He got out of the shower and got dressed.
"We're leaving". I told him.
"Where are we going to go, we don't have a car"
"We can steal one, we already killed someone"
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Thanks for reading if you have an requests feel free to DM me or comment. I think I'll leave the story where it is, if you want a part 2 comment below.
