Pain is nothing
And everything
True pain is sadness
Loneliness
Hopelessness
Bitter regret
True pain is suffocating in your own mind
Pain is the scars that snake your body
The dots from your pencil
The scratches on your legs
Every time you hit your head against the wall
But we laugh
We don't stand out
We are invisible
Unnoticed
That's good
We're looking for attention if we stand out
So we hide
In small tribes
We laugh
At our pain
The nights we cry alone
We smile
Despite the hopelessness we share
We joke
We pretend
But we know
Its a secret code
So we make sure everyone knows
That we are loved
Though none of us seem to believe it
We compliment each other every day
Despite the times each of us held guns to our heads
We hug, despite feeling the scars along each others arms
We are fine
We are good
We are alright
We are happy
Someone cares
Not everyone hates us
We question everyday if this us a lie or not
We contradict our minds
We are not fine
We are bad
Its all lost
We are stuck in an empty voids
No one cares
We are unloved
It doesn't matter how many times you say no
It doesn't matter how many times you say otherwise
We stare at the people around us
We are aware of their mortality
We shake off death and go on with our day
We'll cry when no one else is around
That doesn't make it hurt less
But we are already corpses
Grief doesn't make us more or less
We say we are dead inside
Because we can't feel a thing
That is why we cut
That is why we cry
That is why we throw things
That is why we hide
Anything to convince ourselves that we are still here
Breathing
Living
Working
Trying
That we can run
That we are there for someone
That we aren't the useless things we think we are
You will not realize that you know us
Unless you are one of us
Or pay close attention
Don't point it out
Just wave in the mornings
Tell us we look nice
And go on with your day.
