Begin Again

Chapter 4

I spend the morning eating my cereal, thinking about what Judge Mason told me yesterday. By the time I finish my breakfast, I've decided to visit Zoe one last time...only to tell her that I'm never visiting again.

When I reach the hospital, it's like nothing changed. The same nurse mans the main desk on the floor, she smiles at me in greeting.

Even inside Room 414 it feels like I've gone back to Tuesday. Zoe sits in bed, staring out the window with the same thoughtful expression she had the very first time I came here.

I expect her to look up as I walk in, replaying the scene. But...it's as if she doesn't notice my presence...or refuses to.

When I reach the center of the room, I cough to indicate I'm present. She doesn't even flinch.

After a few minutes, I take my seat from the previous visit and wait, leaning forward, for Zoe to acknowledge me.

"So...um...I came back..." I begin to say, looking for a response.

Nothing.

"Did you do anything exciting without me?" I attempt to joke. She just blinks, her eyes not straying from the white clouds seen from her window.

"Look...I just came back to say that I'm not coming back after this. Believe it or not, I took offense to you calling me a liar...and I feel like you wouldn't want me here anyway. I just thought you had a right to know before I completely disappear..."

I wait a few silent minutes, Zoe not reacting at all. The only sign of life I'm catching from her is the occasional blink and the rise and fall of her chest.

"So...you're not going to say anything? Anything at all?"

Blink, blink.

"I see...well I guess this is goodbye then." I get up off the chair, moving slowly towards the door.

When I reach my hand out to grab the knob, I'm stopped by a familiar, wise voice I thought I'd never hear.

"I know you're scared...but you don't have to put up with it anymore. You also don't have to go through this alone..."

I instinctively grab my wrist, bringing it against my chest. I turn around surprised at Zoe who's turned to face me, her face sincere and her eyes pleading.

My heart pounds, my mouth opening in shock. I quickly open the door, leaving the room with its mechanical beeps, harboring a lonely bitter Rapunzel.

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I sit on the bus, watching the world blur past. When I exited the hospital, my legs still felt weak and for once I didn't trust them to take me home. So, I waited for the bus like a sensible person. I sat all the way in the back, plugging my headphones in to drown out the world.

That girl is full of surprises...none of them, so far, good.

My hands are still shaking as I absent-mindedly pull the sleeve over my wrists. I catch myself performing the act, immediately grabbing my hands and placing them in my lap.

I'm happy to be leaving, and not have to worry about the next secret Zoe reveals in plain light as if it's written all over my face. But for some strange reason...I could still feel a sort of invisible thread pulling me back to the hospital...

She's very...magnetic.

Judge Mason's words echo around my head and I increase the volume on my iPod to drown him out. That man is equally as strange as the girl. Why couldn't he have just given me community service? Though I guess this would count as such...