Greer

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I laid wrapped in two blankets, bundled up in my bed. When I was about to slip off into a deep sleep, I was disturbed by my bedroom door creaking open. A crack of light was shining onto my eyes. I saw two familiar figures step through the opening. The smaller of the two figures wrapped their arms around, the bigger body and tried to push them into the room. The bigger person wrapped their hand around the door frame and stopped.

"No," said the first person. "I can't. My sister is sleeping." It was a male voice. A familiar male voice. The smaller person pulled themselves closer to the bigger person pulling them into a deep kiss. The male voice made a moan. "Annabelle I can't," he said pushing away from her.

The other person huffed and puffed in frustration. "You always do this. You know, I hate your family," the female voice shrieked with agitation. "Why can't you just have your own room or better yet live with me so we would be able to do whatever we want, whenever and wherever we wanted.?" she said as her fingers trailed up his chest and she placed a long kiss on his lips. All you could hear were soft smacking noises along with my quiet breathing.

He shifted his stance uncomfortably and broke the kiss. He turned and looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry, it's just frustrating," she sighed. When he didn't respond to her, she turned around in the doorway and walked out of the apartment, her high heels clicking all the way down the thin walled hallway of the apartment building.

The male figure disappeared for a moment. The sound of a door locking clicked through the apartment and the figure was back in the light crack of the door. He closed the door behind himself and slowly and quietly made his way to his bed. As he stalked over, he turned to face me. Our eyes met, and we held eye contact the whole way back to his bed. When he was there, he put his head down in frustration. I could almost hear what he was trying to say. I'm sorry. You know more than anyone that I don't want this, but I have to. You know I have to.

"I'm sorry," I said. I couldn't help it. It just came out.

He didn't respond. Luther took off his shirt and climbed into his bed. I rolled over so my back was facing him and tried to go back to sleep but sleep wouldn't come. It usually never did.

I drifted off to my thoughts, all of them about Luther and his daily sacrifices. I hated his situation, but I hated myself even more. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have to be with her. He wouldn't need to work the extra hours. I took up so much of the money he earned. The doctor's appointments. The soccer gear. He's never happy anymore. Always in the dark abyss of life.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought about all the pain I've caused for him these past couple years.

"Greer," I heard from behind me. "Don't cry. It's not your fault." Luther could always read my mind. He always knew what I was thinking and what was wrong. No one knew me better than him.

"It is though. I have caused you all this pain, and all you do is give. I just take. You don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. You shouldn't be with her at all. She doesn't deserve your heart. Everything is my fault." Another tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe the snot off of my nose with my sleeve. I place my head into my hands, just wanting everything to go away. For everything to be better. Not for me but Luther. He deserves a happy life.

"Shh don't say that." Luther sits next to me on my bed and pulls me into a hug. He wipes the tears off of my face. "Don't ever say it nor think it. You don't cause me any pain whatsoever. I love you Jellybean, and I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to. It isn't your job to worry about me, let me take care of you." He places a soft kiss on my forehead.

He always does this. Pretends that everything is okay but I know him better than anyone, I know he isn't okay. Luther is struggling, and there isn't anything I could do to help. He won't let me and I hate myself every second because of it. He tells me not to worry that the only thing that I need to worry about is school and my future. Except I don't see a future for me. For Luther's sake, I pretend.

"I love you, Luth." I wipe the excess tears from my face and try my best to fake a smile. Luther was about to get up and go back to his bed when I grabbed his arm. "You know you don't have to be with her. I could help with the money. We could cut back on my doctor's appointments. I could stop playing soccer and sell my gear. I could get a job. You don't need to do this alone. Let me help Luther, please." I plead with him.

I know he will deny my request, but there is not one second that goes by that I don't feel the need to help him. I shouldn't have to be his responsibility. He is young and he should be living his life. Not worrying about how to pay the bills or what we will be eating for our next meal.

"No absolutely not Greer. I am done discussing it with you. Don't bring it up again." His tone is harsh. He says these words everytime I bring it up. He sees the pain on my face and changes the subject. "I think we've had enough of this for one night. How was practice today?"

"Practice was really good. I worked on my defense today. I have been slipping a bit." I cuddle more into the blanket just wishing to disappear into its softness and comfort.

"It's good to hear you're putting in the work. Are you putting in the work in trig?" Luther eyed me knowing that I needed to try harder in that class.

"It has been difficult balancing between school and soccer, but I am doing okay," I lied. I have been failing trigonometry. With practice and my AP classes, it has been extremely troublesome.

"Greer don't lie to me." Of course, he has to call me on my lie. "I know you aren't passing and that can't happen." The only reason he works so much is so I can go to college and get a better education than he had. So I can make something of myself. We both know soccer is the only way for me to get there and if I don't have the GPA requirement, then I can't play. "I know you love soccer, but if you don't get your grade up, then they will kick you off the team." I bite my lip to hold back my tears. I have had enough crying for one night. I need to be strong; I can't be weak.

"I" I stuttered. "I am trying, but there's just so much going on and it's getting complicated. I just don't understand it." He sighs and rubs the side of his head, something he does when he's stressed out. I know he has had enough for tonight.

"I know it's hard, but please, for me, try harder. Make more time for school, that is all I ask from you." His voice sounds defeated.

I look into his eyes. "I promise I will do better, please don't worry. I'll do it." He gives me a small smile of reassurance.

"Thank you." A soft kiss gets placed upon my head, and I feel like I am ten years old again. Luther always looked out for me even when he was in the rebellious teen stage. Whenever I felt down or afraid he would place a soft kiss on my head and would tell me that everything would be alright. "Night Jelly Bean, I love you. Don't forget that."

"Night Luth, I love you." My eyes tired from my crying finally let me drift off into a deep slumber.

I was in my closet no more than four feet by four feet. Just enough to store my clothes and my small ten-year-old body. My hand is over my mouth to muffle my breathing. Streams of tears roll down my face, snot coming down my nose. I was rocking my body back in forth, wanting everything to go away. Just wishing to be in a safe place. I hear yelling in the background. I hear curses coming from his mouth. Glass slams into the kitchen wall. If you could look at me, you would see the fear in my eyes. I stare at my closet wall trying to make images out of the shapes and patterns that I see. If only I were better for him.

I wake up with sweat covering my forehead and my chest rising and falling heavily. Birds are chirping ever so lightly, and the orange sunlight is slowly peeking out. I pull my knees into myself and slowly disappear into my blanket. I muffle my breathing so that Luther won't wake up. He works late at night; the morning is his only time for some decent sleep until he starts his job. I roll over and check my clock. It reads four, only two more hours left until school. I lay on my back and try to let sleep come once again.

-End of chapter 1

Author's Note: 

Hey you guys! I know it has been so long! Here is this very late chapter of Greer! Let me know what you think by leaving the comments below or dm with some ideas you would like to see. I had such a pleasure writing this with beyond_z. I hope you will love Greer as much as we do. Like, comment. Love you all. Tell your friends and post crazy about this please!

Love,

Alicia Marie