I knew you loved me.
God, I'm terrible.
We weren't anything serious yet. But a couple weeks after we agreed to fuck around exclusively, you introduced me to your best friend. It should have raised red flags for me and I'd be lying if I told you it didn't. But I didn't really care. I guess it's because you grew on me.
We sat together, your legs bouncing up and down in excitement as we waited for him to arrive. I think we were holding hands. I knew it was a big deal to you because you wouldn't stop looking at our clasped hands. You were smiling the whole time, I wondered if you'd get tired from it.
He looked like me now. Someone who didn't know what he had until it was taken away from him. The only difference between us was that he got a second chance at it. It was immediately obvious to me that your best friend loved you. He still does, no doubt, he's capitalizing on his opportunity.
But for now, let's stick to the time when you were mine.
You let go of my hand for a second to greet him with a big hug. You gave your love away so easily. I guess that's what made me love you; I guess that's what made me take you forgranted. You hook your arm around his as you chatter excitedly about me. He looks irritated. It makes me smile.
His name is Daniel. Kang Daniel. You say another name, too hard to pronounce, so I don't think much about it. When you introduce me, I hook my arm around you. It strikes a nerve, I saw the infinitesimal flicker of envy in his eyes, the smallest twitch of a frown weighing down his lips. You jolt, just a little in my arm but you lean, closer to me and away from him. It hurts him to see you so close and so far. I found it fun.
He doesn't take too kindly to me.
The sentiment's the same.
My arm still hooked around you, I stretch my free hand over to him. Trying to look as nonchalant and pleasant as I can, I tell him: "it's nice to finally meet you." I sound polite, cheerful even, to make the acquaintance of your dearest friend, it sounds real enough to you but he knows better.
He plays the game as well as I do and that was my first mistake. I assumed we were equals, but he wasn't just good. He was exceptional at this game. He set traps I never knew of until I was embedded in it. He played the game better than I ever did, than I ever could.
He won because he loved you more than I ever could. I accept that.
But you see, I'm not a very good loser.
