So Good

Chapter 21

If you ever feel like your life is worthless, or unappreciated don't believe that please don't. You should NEVER solve a temporary problem, with a permanent result. Today or all of this year you can have a terrible start, but things will get better for you TRUST me. You have to think about yourself and how far you can go. Negative energy can be reciprocated into positive results. Take all the negative things in your life and motivate yourself to do better for you. Because at the end of the day, all you have is you; fuck what anyone else says. ❤️💜💛 you mean something to someone; maybe you just don't know it yet.

Chapter 21

Tamia

My lips felt dry and shut closed. When I peaked through my eyes, I quickly closed them back. The lights were extra bright in the room, wait— where am I? I force my eyes open, try to adjust to the light and see that I am in a hospital.

That's when I came to the realization; I failed to kill myself. Everyone lives would be so much better without me. I felt tears run down the sides of my face and my lips cracked as I cried. "I just want to die!" I say harshly to myself and scratch at my arms.

I fucked my life up, I did this to me! I let 10 niggas fuck me on camera at once, I am the reason I will never be able to have children. Because I don't want my child to know what I use to be. I just want to die, my life is over and there is no point of me being here.

"Ahhh!" I scream and snatch the IV from my arm. "Let me die!" I scream to God. "I'm not your fucking child! You don't give a fuck about me." I try to get out of the bed but my body went limp and I fell onto the floor hitting my head in the process.

"Hey, stop that!" A nurse run in the room. "Please stop." She beg and try to help me from the floor.

"Stop! Just let me kill my dumb ass self!" I struggle in her hold hurting my body in the process.

"Listen to me!" She yell and my eyes go wide. "You are going to open every stitch we gave you yesterday." She point at me.

"So the fuck what!" I scream back.

"Listen lady, lay your ass down!" She yell again and I gasp.

"Who the hell are you talking to?" I frown.

"Girl, sit yo ass down." She point at the bed. I grim her and she help me back into the bed. She sigh and put the IV back into my arm. "Don't rip it out again, and why did you scratch yourself?" She frown.

"Because I want to fucking die." I say bluntly and she grim me.

"How about you stop being that way and realize how much your life means to people." She say and leave out the room. I eye the door and roll my eyes. Why does she care so damn much?

I sigh and look at my arms that started to bleed. I didn't have a terrible childhood but it was never the best. With my mom going to prison and shit, I just got int the wrong crowd and did things I am not proud of. I am ashamed of myself, and I just want to crawl in a 25ft deep hole and suffocate in the dirt.

Minutes later she return with a few pills and a cup of water. "Lean up for me.." She say and I try doing so but I couldn't. She sit the cup and pills onto a napkin before helping me sit up.

"Thanks." I mumble dryly.

"That's my job." She respond and hand me the water and the pills. I sigh and take the pills and drink the water down. I give her the empty styrofoam cup and she throw it away. "Where else did you scratch yourself?" She question while bandaging me up.