17

More Enigma Than Girl

The scene felt all too familiar, a sense of deja vu overtook my wavering body. I once again found myself two towns away with no one to call to come and save me. In short, it was a Friday like any other. Just like every Friday night (or almost any night for that matter), my unsteady fingers hovered over his name in my phone, the blue light of my cellphone illuminating the unfamiliar bedroom I had snuck into so I could hear myself think for just a moment. And just like every other Friday night, I had to remind myself that the only reason I was even at this stranger's party was so that I couldn't hear myself think. I shoved my phone into the back pocket of my shorts that were maybe a little too short, knowing full well that even if I gathered the nerve to call him, he wouldn't come to get me. He was too far away to be the hero of this story.

Draining my plastic cup of the last sip of my vodka and Sprite, I twisted open the door knob, opening the door to a teenage labyrinth known as a house party. With alcohol buzzing through my veins and smoke in the air filling my lungs, all thoughts of Ezra Madden drifted away from the haze of my brain.

"Ken, those sunglasses are so cute. Saint Laurent is totally in right now. Actually, I think I saw Ashley Olsen wear the exact same ones to that launch party! Ugh, which one was it again... Whatevs, it doesn't matter anyways! They totally look better on you," Ava said, always to perky for 8:30 on a Monday morning. She was always trying to fill my silence with nonsense ramblings, which was irritating to say the least. I would like nothing more than to tell her to shut the fuck up for once. Okay, thats a lie. I'd rather have another Advil or a pass to leave class so I could go back home and crawl into my bed. Instead I continued to listen to Ava's pointless chatter, leaning my in my uncomfortable school desk at the back of class and shut my eyes.

Yesterday had been a bad day. My dad was at the office all day as usual, even though his work wasn't even open on Sunday. The house was so quiet it was eery and made me feel unsettled to my core. My mind on the other hand was overwhelmingly loud. By 9 p.m. I had enough, so I put on some makeup and a black dress then called a taxi to bring me to the Strip, which was a convenient 20 minute drive away from my home in Summerlin, Nevada.

Manicured fingers snapped in front of my face, bringing back the reality which was first period English Lit.

"Ken, are you even listening to me," Ava asked, annoyed at my drifting mental state.

"Of course I am." My voice came out unintentionally monotone, my voice scratchy from the night before. One of my favourite bands were playing last night at Encore and to say drunk e liked to sing was an understatement.

"Okay good, as I was saying.." I once again tuned her out. Ava could act like a total airhead sometimes, at least I assumed it was all an act. Back in middle school, Ava actually used to be really smart, like top of the class smart. But once she realized that boys are stupid and don't like when girls are smarter than they are, she started buying into the whole "dumb blonde" facade. As much as it annoyed me, I couldn't really say anything to her. Anyways, who was I to talk? Plus Ava considered me her best friend and I wasn't heartless enough to just drop her, especially knowing how horrible that felt.

When we were 15, Ava was my third best friend, and now at 17, by default she had become my best friend, my only friend. And even then the term was used loosely. Ava was clueless about most things that when on in my life, my family, the partying, and even though I could probably trust her it just wasn't worth the risk to tell her and have it all backfire.

The classroom door slammed shut, sending my eye's flying open and a dull ache to echo in my head. Ava turned around from my desk to face the front of the classroom.

Miss Grayson, one of Summerlin Prep's ageing teachers, walked across the hard floors, clicking her heels brashly in the way that only teachers could. Every step she took was like a big "eff you" to my hangover.