Colin Lusken. We met at auditions for the fall musical, freshman year. We were the only two freshman to make the cast. I had a crush on him 10 minutes after meeting him. I think it took a little longer for him to feel the same. Colin was tall, and tan, with dark brown hair and bright green eyes. He was strong and funny and the kind of guy everyone likes. I was, or am I guess, not the kind of girl who catches your eye. I’m tall, but not quite curvy, and not quite athletic, and not quite thin. Just a little soft. I was pale, and had brown hair with grey-blue eyes. But I was smart and good at flirting. So he fell for me after a few weeks. And he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first love. He was popular, and interesting, and extremely talented. I was quiet and good at blending in. But with his arm around my waist, or my hand in his, it was hard to fade away. So I made friends who normally wouldn’t have even noticed me. Colin turned me into something more than a wallflower. And the seven months I dated him were some of the best of my life. It’s not Colin’s fault he’s part of the reason I have to leave. But he turned me into something I’m not. And after the musical ended, our relationship struggled. We held on for a while. And then we just moved on. I didn’t even cry. Not till later. You see, once Colin’s arm wasn’t around me, my “friends” stopped noticing me. And I lost all the people who had made those months so great. That’s when I cried. I wanted to be popular and liked. Hanging out with pretty, funny, charismatic people made me feel important. But I was faking being one of them. And without Colin’s help, ironically, I wasn’t a good enough actor. I still don’t know if it was worth it. Making all those friends and losing them. I just know that it ended up killing one sixth of me. But I can’t find it in myself to regret those months with Colin and the crazy theatre kids. But after that, I had no idea who I wanted to be. I spent the rest of that year alone most of the time. Attending random clubs and trying to find a place. Colin, it’s not your fault that you caused my dreams of singing and acting to die. But my brain can’t help but associate that with you. You’re the one that’s not like the others. You didn’t mean any harm. And I want you to read this so you knows none of this is your fault.
Colin Lusken was my first love, and those seven months with him were a fantasy.
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Teen FictionMy name is Annabel Marshall. Most people call me Abe. That’s a story for another time. This is the story of four years of my life, the last four years actually. At least if the rest of my plans go accordingly they will be. I’ve always wanted to writ...
