Shame

one

Chloe's POV

"Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly
Just have a drink and you'll feel better
Just take her home and you'll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?"

Shawn mendes is playing, Danielle suggested it weeks ago. I sit on the bathroom floor with a razor in my hand.

One slice,  I wince at the pain. The second slice hurts even more.

The blood leaks out everywhere,  leaking over the bath mat and shower towels. Trickling down my arm onto the floor.

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't

The pain spreads from my wrists right up to my shoulder. I can't bear it anymore.

Looking through my phone again feeling anxious
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh
Is there somebody who could...

I feel my phone buzz where its sitting on the bathroom sink interrupting the music.

It rings on and on, not stopping.

It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood

I look towards the window,  still the blood is dripping down my wrist and the floor is covered.

I can't stop it. I can't gain any more control.

I need somebody now
I need somebody now
Someone to help me out
I need somebody now

The door slams open, revealing Danielle's face.

"what the hell is happening? " she yells.

Danielle races over and sits right beside me.

"oh sweetie,  don't! Oh god Chloe! "

I can't help but look around at the pool of blood we're sitting in. It covers my pants,  my shirt- EVERYTHING.

"why are you doing this Chloe? "

I sigh as a response. Tears start to trickle down my cheeks and then my whole face is drowning.

I grab Danny's arm,  it feels like it's gotten skinnier and skinnier.

I start to think,  I feel more tears trickle down my face. All I can think about is everything I've done wrong,  every single detail.

I can't help but feel self conscious about myself.

"sweetie,  please promise to me that you won't do this again? " she asks me,  moving a bit closer.

"I can't promise anything" I start to ball my eyes out again,  this time the tears don't stop.

I can't clear my head,  all the bad things flooding back in.

I start to run,  for some reason a blood trail continues to follow me.

"Chloe wait!! " I hear Danielle shout out after me but I can't be bothered to turn around.

I have to try and fix up this mess.

I put my headphones back in,  continuing with the song I was listening to 15 mins ago.

It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn't in my blood

The song ends. I can feel the grip of the pills in my hand.

It isn't in my blood

The song lyrics replay in mind.

"well now it is" I say and then swallow the 5 pills all at once.

"now it is.... "

I slowly close my eyes.

"it is in my blood"

A. N. Hey everyone! I am new to wattpad and I was just wondering if you could give me some support.

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