Everything I didn't say

To The Person Who Knows Who They Are

Dear person,
You are probably reading this now unsure if it's you or not, as well as being confused I assume.

I can't say what I want to say out loud as it will come across as jealousy and hate which I do not have but instead hurt and disappointment.

I had told you my feelings about a event and the things that have lead to the event including lots of rumours and screenshots. I have been by your side since year 8 and yet you find it difficult who to believe and trust and you put it into someone who've been 'friends' with for 3 months over me.

I like to believe you're so invest in this girl because she is in your classes and she is your friend. If she hasn't done what she had done to me I would also be her friend. You told me you couldn't understand or have more than one good friendship and I offered to help you when you were crying in my house about this friendship which you never really accepted or declined. I also know you told someone that you just wanted me and this girl to get along but how can you expect me to when this person has victimised me and humiliated me to my friends .

You want to know what makes it hurt, it's because I've been there through everything for you always and we have had plenty of problems and we got over them but some how I always end up in hell with feelings I have given it 3 shots and I'm on my last and currently I don't think I can carry on with what we have because you treat me like a stranger although you tell me we are best friends 8 days previously.

Please put yourself in my shoes and try to feel what I've felt emptiness, invisible and lost. It doesn't feel nice does it?

I can't say these things to you as I can see your friendship is good but it hurts to know that you cannot see my pain and the strain you are putting on our friendship because the person you call a 'friend' has hurt me emotionally and mentally as well as threatening to slap me if I come near her even though I have said nothing of the matter since I spoke to her.

I really hope that you understand this isn't a letter out of hate because I do not feel that, or a letter out of jealousy because what is there to be jealous about nothing. I also hope you see this letter and realise that I also need you in my life as currently it's not what it was and I want to make more memories with you and go to prom with you and do stupid shit on the bus with you, go on random bus journeys, go to Westfield and try on clothes we can't afford and stuff are face with kfc as well as re make vines,but currently that isn't happen because you do not see me. This isn't a letter of picking sides it's a letter of wanting to have a better friendship with you.

This is the final straw for me and after this if you blow it this best friendship will have to turn to a friendship because this isn't how you treat someone who call a best friend or even a friend at all.

Lots of love because I still love you and so does my family,
Drunk Auntyxx