From A Distance

Part 8

Eight
When we arrived home, Mom’s tone of voice sounds different. I know I put myself into some trouble but instead of regretting, I decided to brace myself and be ready to face it. I proceeded to my room without and pause, dropped my things and lay at my bed. All I think about is her and nothing more than to see her everyday though I know that is it really impossible. It’s really hard to be a kid because I can’t do whatever I wanted to. Bound my rules and principles that I don’t even know if all of them are right and fitting for a kid like me. I heard mom calling my name. I stood up, took some deep breaths and stepped out of my room. Mom was at the living room with my sister. Mom pointed her gaze at the empty seat beside her so I sat there as I programmed my mind to answer the possible questions carefully.
“What’s between you and Abigail?” Mom asked.
It’s the question that I expected to come and it did.
“Nothing mom. Just friendship.” I said carefully though the words sound weird at the back of my throat.
“Are you sure?” My sister asked.
“Yes.” I said.
Mom looked at me as if she’s investigating my eyes with her watchful gaze. I am used to lie to be honest, but I am not an expert liar. They stood up and went to their rooms while I remained on my seat and think of the worse things that could possibly happen.
To make the story short, since I really hate details especially those about what I went through after a few months when mom finally caught me lying when she saw the messages sent by Abigail to me. By that time that she saw those messages, all that I can do is put my head down, thinking of Abigail and trying to find some strength because I know that the time that we thought about before has finally come. Mom was really mad and I can see it on her face. My sister was enraged too that she ordered my Yahoo Messenger and Friendster account to be deactivated immediately. Though I graduated as Valedictorian, because of what they found out, my attainment has no effect on them. My sister confiscated my phone, the phone that my dad gave me because I graduated on top of every student in our class. Abigail can’t seat at the front seat anymore. When we go to church, Mom sits beside me. I can see Abigail snatching a look at me as if she’s saying that we should stand still. After the service, still, we can’t sit beside each other at the front seat as we go home. So for over a year, we had the setting that really tested the both us. Every Sunday, all that I can do is to look at her as they walk towards home, waiting for her head to turn. We have no means of communication. No chats, texts, calls or whatever. Every night, all I can do is to open my window and look at those stars she told me to look at whenever I miss her. I know she’s looking at them too, I can feel it. We stepped in 1st and 2nd year high school with the same setting. But by that time, they’re family are no longer joining us in the service van. The pain in my heart grows bigger and bigger as time goes by. Knowing that thoughts and stars are the only things that connect us to each other makes me feel like hell. I thought these will be that last set of things that will cause me pain, but I was wrong.