Do you ever just feel so alone?
When all the people are there
But not for you
And everyone’s chattering becomes nattering
Because nothing relates
The words just slither like rogue basilisks
Paralysing their prey with pleasure you’ll never know of
While you slowly crumble into yourself
Attempting to mask emotions that can’t be suppressed much longer
And you feel this sense of solitude
So overpowering, so overbearing
That your mind drops to your knees
And your heart drops to the soles of your feet
And you can’t think, you can’t breathe
It just consumes your very being
But no one sees
And no one cares
And you are utterly alone.
Do you ever just feel so alone?
When you are around a ton of friends
And you pretend to be there
Just like they pretend you’re a part of them
But you can feel that wall separating you from them
A wall of your virulent insecurities,
Made with the bricks of your flaws
A wall you try to demolish with spurious cheer
That you can only upkeep for so long
Do you ever just feel so alone?
When the people closest to you
Start slowly peeling away
Like the skins of onions
Causing hurricanes of emotion
To tumble from your eyes,
Thunders of cries to erupt from your very soul,
Flashes of lighting within your mind
Igniting sorrow and loneliness so intense it completely floods inside you
Do you ever just feel so alone?
Because they people you knew then
Aren’t the same
As the people you know now
And the you that you once were
Isn’t the same
As the you that you are now
And you find yourself trapped in a body you can’t identify
Bound by the behavioural parameters
Of a personality in which you can’t survive
And it all comes dawning on you like the sun at six in the morning-
But not a beautiful, soft orange morning
More of a dark, blustery morning promising only miseries ahead-
That maybe you’ll never be able to fight it
Because change is the only constant, right?
Your life will only ever be composed of familiar faces
But antithetic identities
Leaving you so absolutely alone
In a world you’ve never known
With strangers who try and fail to care
About the things you do
And the way you feel
Do you ever just feel so alone?
Because I sure do.
