The Castle

Gone

Hello.

I'm sorry it had to be this way.

I feel like with every passing minute I lose myself a little more. I have to run. This is more than just a salutation/farewell... It's my apology. I'm sorry for everything. I've done so many thing I'm not proud of, some to get myself off, some out of desdain, some out of boredom, but regardless of the motive, I am sorry.

I have little time left before I turn into one of them, one of the soul sucking monsters that haunt this town on broad daylight. My soul and my heart have been deteriorating by the second and I've reached my breaking point. I'm running away and, most importantly, I'm leaving you behind. Perhaps this is me saving you the ache that is most likely to come if I stay, perhaps I'm just afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of becoming the worse versions of our now rulers. The king and the queen have drained the kingdom of their light and now everything looks grey. The lack of color is making me crazy. I can't stand that.

Don't look for me, please don't. You're not going to find me. I'm off to fight a war I should have fought a long time ago. A war I didn't ask for, a war that if I could've avoided I would have done it, but I can't escape my destiny. It's been a long time coming. I've hidden myself in your arms and ignoring my demons long enough for them to beat me black and blue. No more. No way I'm coming back. You've done your fair share of damage too. I'm not saying you're all bad and that I'm better than you... but I am. I gave you a shelter and a shoulder to rest you head on. Little did I knew when I let you in that you'd nearly destroy me.

I'm leaving so many people behind, those who I love, Those who love me back, Those who fear me and those who'd rather see me wake up dead on a street cover in my own blood. This place is disgusting, just a whisper of the once filling buzz that was the city. I'm tired of the people that live here are being shaped into perfect little mindless idiots, I've been overly protected for such a long time and now that I've taken off my blindfold I see it all. I see all the pain. I feel like I finally see the laser pointing in between my eyes to deliver the final shot and I'm not going to let them get me.

I couldn't care less if you get or not what I mean by leaving you. I really don't. One thing is for sure, you opened my eyes, and next time you see me, don't be scared if I look unapproachable, distant, uninterested in your stupid old remarks on my way of life or about my attitude towards you, just know that when someone like me leaves...

We're gone forever.

Goodbye.