The Castle

Breaking Free

I left my letter, now I'm off.

As I shut the door behind me, leaving my now ex-lover behind, I feel the burning of the scratches I have sustained for a while now. Who knew this less than a month relationship could become so intense so fast. I thought I knew better, I thought I learned my lesson this year. 2016 taught me so much, yet I feel so naïve. So foolish and full of fairytale shit that some people my age now turn into cynical thoughts of a swarm of heartless zombies that are out to get them and break them in a tillion different pieces.

I walk through the halls, it's a pitch-black night, there's a new moon in the sky right now. I'm not afraid of the dark, but this night feels different, I feel like I'm being preyed on, the typical game of hunter and prey. "I'm fucking done with this." I say as I grab a hold of my knife and continue to walk through the hall. It feels like I've been walking for months, alone in the dark, The silence, the numbness is filling me. Out of nowhere I hear a song, the only thing scarier than silence is a fucking creepy choir singing in the distance. I wonder if I ignore the singing I maybe could stop trembling.

Angus dei, Angus dei, Agnus dei

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" I sigh, I'm already getting myself in trouble for escaping my room, might aswell go all the way. "Fuck it then." I change my direction and head to where the singing is coming from, conveniently on the other direction I was walking. I pass the room that I once called my own, I can hear his crying. I never thought that I would have such an effect on him, by the way he treated me I sure as hell wouldn't get any idea of the pain he now is expressing, I feel really bad for actually being this cynical and thinking he is only pretending. I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it.

He can't do this to me, he can't...

Guess he didn't know what he had until he lost it. I know I'm a catch I respect myself enough to leave if I'm not given any reason to stay. His loss I found myself... or whatever left over of me I found in the wreckage. The singing is getting louder with every step I take, I don't know how I'm avoiding every single obstacle in my way with such ease, I'm not making any noise at all and I feel invincible. The hall I'm walking in has a light at the end, I can see the choir. They're all facing the other way, I slow my pace and stop on my tracks "I'm really doing this... fuck, I really am." I clutch the knife as hard as I possibly can, I'm nervous, scared as shit. "Breathe... In, out, In, O-"

"Don't."

My eyes are wide open, His voice... I though I made it clear on my letter that I didn't want to be followed, leave it to my ex to do exactly the opposite of what I told him... Should've known better. I dated him, for fuck's sake. I turn around, pissed, I know my death stares comes best when I look from the floor up, it really does intimidate people when I do that, I obviously am going to play my A Game. "Thought I made it cle-" I'm alone... He wasn't there... How could it be? I felt him right there... his voice, it was so clear and loud, just like he was standing right there next to me... How? "Shit..." I scratch my head and turn around again. The choir keeps on singing like they don't even notice I'm coming, and somehow, I feel like they don't have the slightest idea that I am coming with a blood thirst.

"Here I go. This is it."

I walk, my head is standing tall, I'm in for the kill. I enter the lightened room. Holy shit. All the royals are here, The choir continues to sing those same two words, I'll admit it. I'm scared. I go to the center of the room, I see the throne. I see the king. That old motherfucker dressed with every last piece of jewerly he stole from other weaker kings. His wife sitting beside him, the poor woman, He drained even the last drop of life from her body. She once was a benevolent and loving woman to the kingdom, now a mere shell of the woman she once was. The king glances at me, I glance back at him. I feel the tension grow tighter, might as well cut to the chase. I walk towards him. One foot and then the other. "This one's personal, you son of a bitch" I walk confidently, I know I am going to kill him. Put my knife in his throat and then it'll all be done. I'll be free from all of this. The royals whisper and mumble stuff about me as I walk. I now feel insecure about my outfit, my ripped black jeans, washed out black T-shirt, and dirty black shoes. Hey, "when in doubt wear all black", right? I'm halfway through the room, i can see the rage in his eyes, yet he does nothing.

"What brings you here? I thought you were locked away for good." He said in his annoying I-know-it-all voice.

"Yes, you thought wrong. I'm here for you." I said defiantly, I am enraged. He drained me from my life energy and turned me into a revenge-thristy monster.

"You have no bussiness here. Leave and I'll spare your life... once again"

"No way. I've endured so much pain, I've seen hell with my own eyes since the moment you came into my life. I'm not walking away. I'm taking back what's mine. You're so fucking dead." I said as a reached the three-steps that distance him from the others. "This is your end."

"You're not going to get anything out of this. I didn't take away anything from you. You gave it up. If you had been as strong as you proclaim yourself to be, then why did you surrender yourself into slavery in the first place?" His words stopped me for a moment. Was I not strong? What if he is right? Maybe I should stop? "You're as weak as the rest of the kingdom, but this I'll give to you, you have a nerve to do your will. A lot of anger retained inside your little, fragile body, and it impresses me how you channel it. Admirable, yet it is a shame that such a strong personality is wasted on you." I felt my blood boil up, I felt the fire in my eyes turn into the sun and I went berzerk. I walked up the stairs and stand before him.

"You're done. I'm taking back my life by taking away yours." I said as I place my knife in his throat. "Any last words before I cut your fucking throat and end this shit for good?"

He chuckled. "Little one, you really don't see it, do you? Killing me is not the answer."

My eyes are watering, maybe he is right... maybe. "I know it's not the full answer... but it's a part of it." I raised the knife and slit his throat open. Blood is spilling everywhere. I'm back. The sun is rising and the darkness is finally retrieving. I won.

I killed him...

I sat on the throne for the first time in a long time. I won back my life. I see my kingdom kneel before me, I can feel the power, the peace of mind. Out of the sudden something hit my hard in the head and knocked me out cold. Once again it all went black.