Ocean of Emotions

The story of O.J.

I was always a shy girl but so willing to help anyone who was hurting. One such person was OJ, I helped him out like any good friend would. I would do it so often. I guess he trusted me enough to tell me everything. Something about his personality drew me to him. I was always a sucker for the sad ones. They show such raw emotion, they are truly themselves and I love that kind of authenticity. I don't know why but I fall too fast too hard for someone. So in no time I fell for him, I knew I didn't have a chance with him but he did the one thing I didn't expect, he proved me wrong. So we hit it off. Both of us shy as ever but connecting to a level beyond. I could tell this guy was different, he wasn't like the others. It was in personality, he likes to call himself a "Misfit" but really he's treasure to the soul. His frail heart was the most attractive thing I've ever seen. It was so, so beautiful. I've never seen anything like that before. I'm not like everyone else, I don't go for looks, it's the heart that captures mine and holds it captive. I don't mind because I would give anything to be a prisoner of love. I really did love him and still do. Only one person has ever made me feel that way. Not even David, the guy I literally gave up my life for could match up to this intensity of love. It's so hard to write the ending of this because it breaks my heart but I must go on. He would tell me about the people he loves dearly, Amia is probably his favourite. She's the sweetest thing ever. Such an adorable little baby girl. March 29, 2018, he and I went on our first date. We had ice cream and a long walk under the beautiful night sky. He held my hand and the moment was just perfect. We talked about who knows what. Then we both kinda went quiet and he was acting a little nervous and asked me if he could kiss me then I smiled and said yes then he did, I still don't believe we kissed. That was our first and last kiss. It took me places I've never been before. That was the best day ever. The next night was the complete opposite. It was intense because the one person I had no power over came knocking at the door to my heart. That's where the wreck began. I couldn't think straight. I told OJ about it and how it made me sad then he told me if it makes me happy I can go to him. He said that he loves me so much that even if it meant he had to let me go to see me happy he would. This is when I fully felt the depth of the saying, "If you love something let it go" and just how deep it cut through the heart. That is one of the greatest acts of love I have ever seen, this is how I know OJ really does love me. It was bittersweet because I was even more in love with him than ever before. I cried all night, I drowned in my tears for him, my heart yearned for him so bad. It was too late, the damage had already been done. That was such a selfless act of love. This guy really is special and always will be. He deserved better, I wish I could have given him better every single day. Sometimes I wish I didn't do what I did. If I had a chance I'd do it all different. He deserves nothing but love and happiness. He deserves the best there is. Words can't even begin say just how I feel. I'm sorry I let go when you never did in the face of your past loves. I'm so sorry. I hope you forgive me. I know he may never look at me the same but I don't want to be the one to make him give up on life and only see the negativity. There's beauty everywhere but really you don't have to look far and wide because it's in the reflection of your mirror when you look at it. You taught me something I can't unlearn and for that I'm truly grateful. I will always love you. Truly, genuinely, without cause I will love you. It's sad but our goodbyes have already been said.