When I Turn The Page

The Journal

I sat and cried for what seemed like years.

Everything had fallen on me so fast that all I felt was pain.

Why?

Why him?

Why was it him?

He's the only person that kept me alive.

If he wasn't with me every second of the day I wouldn't be here...and right now...

I don't want to be here. I don't want to feel this pain, but it has taken over my body... I can't control it. All of my emotions poured out of me and I felt empty.

I woke up everyday longing for Jay and now I have no purpose to keep going.

Whenever I get happy it always has to end, in the worst possible way.

Why does this have to happen?

I finally got some strength in me to sit up strait. I looked up at the ceiling and then looked back at my hands. I stared at my hands and thought.

"My hands feel empty."

I looked at Jay's bed and noticed a journal on it.

I wanted to know what it was so I got the strength to get up and walk to his bed and sit.

I picked up the journal, shaking.

I opened to the first page and started to read.