Van Gogh.

Dear vincent. 🦋

Born- 30th March 1853.
Died- 29th July 1980.

Dear Vincent,
Today has been  horrible and I know you understand. Sometimes I just feel like killing myself just like you did in your darkest days, when you wrote to Theo and described your depression it's how I feel. I know you understand. I wish I could talk to you personally but I know it's impossible because, Your dead.
Just to even get your perspective on things, and understand what your going through so I didn't feel like I was alone with my thoughts. As I sit here and I wonder how I'm going to get through this night and the next day and the day after that. I'm so sick of being frowned upon by everyone who thinks that they know who I am and where I have been. Or what I'm going through. They don't know jack shit. I wonder how you staggered to the Inn you where staying at with a fresh open wound, and if you did try to kill yourself why would you try to survive why wouldn't you just let yourself die? Was it so your relatives Theo more importantly could find your body and have a proper send off. Was it so people knew for a fact that you were dead. Why? What did the suicide note in your pocket say? That the press failed to mention upon your death?
Why did you have to kill your self? You were a hero to many for putting up with your mental illness and in fact writing about it. You're letters are now cherished the only thing people have left of you. Apart from your fabulous art works and brush strokes you created for people to admire and to get lost in the scenery you created through your emotional state of wellbeing. It wasn't until after your suicide that people began to realise what an exceptional artist you really were. People sold your art works for thousands of dollars but you only sold one.
I'm not even sure why I look up to some one so mentally unstable but I do and I will continue to do so, after all I wasn't even born yet when you died nor when you lived. Unfortunately I was born fourteen years later. What was my mother thinking? I have so many god damn questions to ask you but I can't because your dead.
- the sadness lasts forever.- Vincent Van Gogh.
- Vanessa to Vincent.