stuck in my mind // a collection of writings

nothing.

i will never be able to show my love for someone.
you hurt me.
i plead for you to stop.
i said "no".
i cried.
i raised my voice.
i tried to push you off.
the problem was,
i just wasn't strong enough.
now, i am scarred.
terrified.
hurt.

i handed my trust over to you.
all you did was crush it up and throw it to the ground.
you stepped on it and broke it into a million pieces.
with each piece of trust that broke, i broke along with it.
i will never be fixed.
you broke me.

part of me blames it on myself.
maybe if i were more clear, stronger, or louder...you would have stopped.
you never did.
it continued for over a year.
i was hurt over and over again.
it got to the point where i gave up.
i knew every time i saw you, it was going to happen again.
i became afraid,
horrified whenever you came near me.
so i left.

i'm with someone better.
i love him.
i want to show my love and adoration for him.
i can't.
every time he touches me, i hear your voice.
i hear my cries.
i feel the pressure of your hands pushing me down and trying to get me to stop fighting.
i feel my heart beating faster and faster.
i can't do anything.
i'm frozen.
i can no longer breathe.
i'm broken.