Detox ✔

6.

McKenna has all eyes on her. She's fresh meat, she's new and shiny, and they all want to corrupt her.

Jackson looks McKenna over from top to bottom twice before I step in front of her to block his view. I don't know if McKenna notices Jack checking her out, she seems to be taking in the scene that is laid out before her. 

As soon as we walk in the door you can see bottles and cups everywhere, as well as people in every state of mind. Some people come to Jack's to get so trashed they don't remember where they were, I was usually that type of person. A lot of people come here to hang out all day because they have nothing to do and nowhere else to go. Most people come here to buy their vice and use. 

McKenna is looking around and smiling weak smiles at everyone that is openly staring at her. You can tell that she doesn't belong here, and I suddenly feel ashamed at the fact that this is exactly where I belong.  

"I'll just get my keys and we can go." I was wrong, I don't want to be here right now. 

"We can stay if you want." I see something in her eyes when she says it, and I don't like it.

Wonder.

I see wonder in her eyes. 

"Kenny, I think we should leave." 

Jackson slings his arm around McKenna and pulls her closer to him. "So who's your pretty friend, Axel?" 

He's smiling at McKenna and even worse, she is smiling back at him.

"I'm McKenna."

"Well McKenna, I'm Jackson. This is my house and you look like you could use a drink." He steers her toward the kitchen and she gives me a small smile over her shoulder as she goes with him. 

I don't really know anything about McKenna, but she doesn't seem like the type of girl that wants to be day drinking in a party house with ten other drunk and high people. 

When I walk into the kitchen and see her taking a cup full of some type of liquor from Jackson, I realize that maybe I was wrong about her, and that makes me kind of sad. Relieved because I don't need to feel ashamed anymore, but sad. 

I reach for the bottle that's sitting on the counter beside me and consider getting a cup, but I know I'm going to finish this bottle and a cup would just be a waste. McKenna is talking to Jack and a few other people I don't know by name, she doesn't need me to babysit her, she's old enough to make her own decisions. 

I don't know how long I have been sitting on the couch taking long drinks from that bottle, but when McKenna sits down beside me I'm feeling warm and everything is kind of fuzzy so it must have been awhile. The bottle is almost empty and I know I'm drunk, but McKenna looks completely sober even though I saw her with a full cup earlier. 

"You okay, buddy?" I can tell there's humor in her voice and when I look at her I can see that her eyes are the same sober brown they were a few hours ago. McKenna is stronger than I am. I expect to see disappointment and judgement in her eyes, but instead McKenna is looking at me like she always does.

"I'm okay, buddy. Where's Jackson?" I look around the room but don't see him anywhere. 

"He said he had to talk to someone outside and he wanted me to come ask you if you want to chill with us on the back porch?"

Jackson doesn't let anyone smoke weed in his house, which I think is an odd rule for him to have, so his back porch is where everyone goes to smoke. Usually when I start relapsing it takes me a few weeks to move on to my next step of the downfall. Right now though, I can't think of a reason why I shouldn't just speed the process up a little and reach the inevitable end sooner than usual.