Problem Child (One Direction Fanfic)

Jessica Louise Goulding

Chapter One

So, I guess I should start by saying a bit about myself, yes? Well, my name is Jessica. Jessica Louise Goulding. I don’t have any siblings or cousins. And I don’t have real friends, I never have. Only the people who talk to me are on twitter, they’re the closest things to friends I have. The only hobbies I have are horse riding and listening to music. I’ve always ridden since a young age as my mother rode when she was young and occasionally still does now, but I’ve never had my own horse.  I live on my own in an old apartment in the backstreets of Hackney in London. My parents bought it for me, and every month money is withdrawn from their account to pay the bills. They’re not rich or anything, it’s so their ‘little girl’ can ‘have it a bit easier’. Well mother and father dearest, life would be easier if didn’t force me to move out and then block me out your lives! Yup, as much as it ‘hurt’ them, and as much as they ‘loved’ me, they forced me to leave home. Apparently I’m a problem child and too much for them to handle. More like can’t be bothered deal with me and help me!

I’ve never found school easy. Ever. I found every lesson difficult and hard to understand, but the teachers were never any help. They just said that I’d get it eventually and to work on it at home. As well as that, throughout primary school and secondary school I was teased for being so much shorter than the other kids, and listening to ‘crappy’ music, and not wearing the ‘right’ clothes. I wasn’t wearing jeggins or hoodies that didn’t zip up at the front. I wouldn’t have my hair perfectly tied back or neatly brushed. In other words, I wasn’t the same as them, and they used that to make me a total outcast. Once I got to year 9, it really started to get to me, especially as it just got worse. They never got bored of putting me down 24/7. I began to act up in lessons and frequently get sent out. I even got excluded for weeks at a time when it was really bad. During the time I was excluded I would hang around in town; my parents couldn’t stand to see the sight of me. I was a disappointment. With London being London, there were always plenty of people around. People who I would watch to pass the day away. They were all older than me, and most of them smoked. When I was growing up I was brought up understanding the bad effects the drug had on our bodies and never agreed with it, but now, now I found it fascinating! The way the smoke gently floated away and disappeared into nothing. I wanted to know what it was like, and so one day I convinced someone to let me try it and buy some for me. That’s what caused the addiction I have today. I’m not a heavy chain smoker, but it’s still an addiction none the less, and it still fascinates me.

I only smoked in secret at home, and when I was allowed back to school, I couldn’t smoke. No one at my school smoked and of course it wasn’t allowed. I already had a pretty short temper, but the increased bullying and the craving of nicotine crying out to be consumed shortened it even further. In year 10 I was allowed back after missing the last 4 weeks of year 9 before the summer holidays. I started to fight back to the bullies. Not all the time, only when it really got under my skin. I wasn’t calm about it either! I would turn around and attack them. Mostly with words, but occasionally with physical violence. I couldn’t control it! This was when my parents decided I was a problem child. To them, I wasn’t a young girl struggling with school work and dealing with bullies. To them I was someone who couldn’t control her temper and got into fights. They decided that for the rest of school it would be best if I was taught at home, and that my father would be in charge of my education. But this didn’t help either. This led to arguments with him. Not major, family destroying ones, just arguments that would ruin the rest of the day and fill the house with a negative atmosphere.

However, these arguments began to build up. And after the Easter holidays of the following school year they sent me back to school. Back to the bullies and back to where I struggled alone. This only led to more fights and more arguments. During the time I was home schooled I’d managed to smoke even less than I had been, but returning to school brought it right back up again. When I took my exams, I tried my best, but I still didn’t do overly well. I got D’s in everything.  Because of my poor exam results, and of course being a problem child, my parents bought me my flat in Hackney. They couldn’t handle the stress of me anymore, and my grades were ‘the final straw’.

The flat was  horrible. A simple small upper floor, semidetached flat. It has one bedroom, a small and basically fitted kitchen, a tiny bathroom which just about fits the toilet, sink and bathtub/shower in it, and a box living room with a worn out sofa, a small coffee table and a TV that looks like it’s from the 1950s. The last owner had moved out 10 years ago, and the whole place was well run down. Like I said before, I’ve never really fit in. And I’ve never been good at art. Instead of painting the walls I simply decided to decorate them. I’ve always wanted to be a model, and this is what made decide to cover the walls of the living room with covers of ELLE, Vogue and Grazia magazines. The bedroom I got my dad to paint a light shade of purple, and then I filled it with posters of my favourite band; One Direction. They’re the ‘crappy music’ I got bullied about listening to. Apparently because they’re not famous and only came third on the X Factor it’s not cool to listen to them. But I don’t care, those silly boys with beautiful voices are the main reason I’m sort of happy. Them and horse riding. I filled one wall of posters and printed pictures of them completely, without a single gap. On the wall next to that was the window wall, then the next stayed blank besides the door. For the fourth wall, which is opposite the window and also next the poster wall, I got a custom made wall sticker of the lyrics Nothings Fine, I’m Torn in cursive handwriting stuck in the centre.

After a month I was well settled in. I managed to get a job at the local news agents. It didn’t pay much, but it was enough to buy food with a small amount left over which I kept to one side to save up. It was also around this time that my parents blocked me out. It started with them not answering the phone. Then they stopped replying to texts, phone calls, letters and emails. They blocked me out. I was alone with absolutely no one to turn to if I needed, except my online followers. The only other people who worked at the news agents was a creepy bloke in his 50s who owned it, and a teenage boy who only came in at the start and end of his paper round.

This was the life I was living. The life of a problem child. This was my life. It was starting to get too much and I hated it. The amount I smoked increased, and I started to harm myself. It was all I could do to make the hard times easier, and unfortunately, these hard times were happening more and more.

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Okay, so this is a story I thought up when I couldn't sleep and I wanted to know what people would think. I WON'T be stopping 'A Holiday Forever Engraved In My Heart', and sorry it's been ages since I uploaded a chapter for that story!

PLEASE COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS AND VOTE IF YOU LIKE THIS! IT WOULD HONESTLY MEAN A LOT TO ME, YOU HAVE NO IDEA :)

Thank you x Katie x

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