tell me something
what are you supposed to feel
when your world is crashing down around you,
when atlas can no longer bear the weight of the sky,
just as you can't take the beating from your heart anymore?
did you know
that stars die?
these gigantic floating masses of the physical embodiment of light die
and we think we can live forever on this dying, fallen earth
(orbiting a sun that's burning itself out)
— in memories?
memories don't mean a thing
when the people who knew of us have died
when the books that were written about us have never been plucked off the shelves
and when even our bones disappear to fill this dying earth
with even more forgotten dead things
and i can't
i can't
i c a n n o t
stress enough that when i'm gone
it will not matter to anyone on this earth in the end
because those gone are better off dead
and those dead are better off forgotten
so tell me
why do you insist that i should live?
is it so that you can feel better about yourself?
is it so that you can believe without a doubt
that you have made a positive difference in someone else's life?
is it so that you don't have to feel the guilt
knowing that maybe there could have been one more useless piece of trash
taking up space, air, and resources someone else who was worth anything needed
except there isn't because you didn't say anything?
don't you know
don't you know
don't you know
i'm already dead
this body still moves
but my heart has been torn apart so many times
that sometimes i wonder if its beating is not because it is alive
but because the world insists on making sure it's dead
by pounding all tragedy into it
what can you do to save me from that?
what am i supposed to do to come back to life?
tell me
tell me
tell me
please
maybe i want to live
