Hidden in Stone

XVII - Cocktini for you

It's the beginning of November. The crisp cold nights and where the freaks come out from hiding, rocking into the bar in only underwear and fish tail tights. The condensate puffs of hot air falling from everyone's lips. The time that is my favourite, the winter slowly slipping in like a James Bond, Slowly informing everyone that Christmas is almost upon us.

Looking between my co-workers on the bar, dressed in jeans and sweaters, and the 'macho men' performers I could only thing. Are they not cold? 

They were dressed in animal print lingerie and tights. I was dressed similar to my co-workers, in jeans, a long sleeved shirt and jumper over and my knee high boots. And I was still cold. 

But that wasn't the worst of my night, oh no. A drunk drag tipped their Cocktini all over me. So now, here I stand in a tight, skimpy dress that was hidden deep within the dressing rooms closet. The low cut cleavage highlighting my Goosebumps in the shadows of the dimly lit room.

Now I'm experiencing hyperthermia, not just freezing. The sequin dress finishing just below my ass, my knee high boots just above my knee allows a lots of skin to become pasty white. 

Walking around the tables, I collected the empty glasses as the 'macho men' started their little dance. Leaving stage to grab a few unsuspecting victims, which apparently included me. 

Now this is how my night got worse. Sat in the third chair, next to an extremely butch lesbian and a DragKing. Keeping my legs pushed together, two glasses still resting in my tense hands.

The setting something of blind date. And I was not enjoying it. Being passed a microphone, I let the prominent scowl stay on my face as I was my mother start to take pictures of the act, laughing at my scowl. 

"Okay, Okay. Behind this sheet is a dashing young lad, and on the other side is his possible suitors." The main 'macho man' giggled, He added, "Smile kid, your face will, freeze that that other wise, you too girly." 

Glaring at the man, he smiled before asking the first question. 

"What's your perfect date, Number one?" 

The lesbian spoke, "A Chinese movie night with my girlfriend." 

Some people winced at the woman's lack of enthusiasm of the entertainment provided, but continued cheering or booing at some points. 

The screeching that went through my ears was horrendous, and it didn't get better with the DragKing.

"Taking my date to wherever they want to go, inir." 

"Number 3?"

Looking at the 'Macho man' I answered, "Pop tart on the beach."

My answer resulted in a few curious looks spared my way. After a few pointless questions, the guy behind the sheet was allowed to ask a question. 

The voice sounded deeper than it needed to be and it spoke, "Have you ever been in love? What does it feel like?"

After a few minutes, I sat still, not hearing the other contestants answers until the 'macho man' called me. 

"Uh." I mumbled into the mic, "Yeah." 

"What was it like?" The voice asked, sounding eager for my answer.

Thinking, I answered, "It wasn't really a feeling, just something being there. He allows me to feel safe and comfortable, even if he doesn't know it. And it breaks me every time he smiles, or laughs because most of the time I know it isn't because of me."

A few second of silence filled the room, until the voice questioned, "You still love him?"

Nodding, cursing myself for the act if idiocy before saying, "Even more everyday somehow. And I know it'll hurt when I fall and he can't catch me." 

Closing up the bar, my mother called me into her office. My mother sat tired faced with a glass of whiskey sat in front of her. 

"So you didn't get over your 'silly' crush then?" She smiled weakly, she went to open her mouth again but I cut her off

"I'm too far gone. Now I just have to prey for heartbreak to come soon." I smiled at my mother sadly, dropping my body into the seat in front of the desk 

"I remember what it was like to love young." My mother smiled, "But back then it was a boy"

"No, it was an asshole who knocked you up and left." I snapped, trying to stop whatever was making her go down memory lane

She smiled sadly at me before muttering, "Maybe one day you'll want to hear the story. Even if it isn't now." 

My mother stood suddenly, and walked behind me and graced whoever had walked into the room with a hug. 

"Ready to go baby?" My mammas voice called behind me, shivering, I sprang up from the seat.

Nodding lightly, I answered "Yeah" 

As I was walking out the door, my mom caught my arm and handed me an old looking envelope, before saying "It's in here if you wanna know. It's your choice hunny." 

Looking down at the envelope, I folded it and tucked it into my bra before grabbing my still damp clothes and walked through the bar, meeting my moms by the door.