Dead - Adventures in the Grey World

Man in the Orange Coat

The first day I met him will forever be etched in my memory.
Making my way through the cold, dark spruce forest that loomed menacingly over me I could hear a distant rumble of a train drudging its way on  frost covered tracks .

It was Christmas and instead of sitting infront of a cozy ,warm fire in our living room surrounded by presents and a huge decorated tree I was finding my way to my refuge camp. A beautiful yet savage place which I discovered five years back along with my mother .A placid lake which was frozen.Frozen by the same cold-hearted Northern winter which all mortal things fear.
I had been afraid of this place since the day when the thin ice beneath my feet cracked and I fell through it. The freezing water soon soaked through my furry coat piercing my body like a thousand daggers which have recently been sharpened over a coal fire. I let out a sharp cry which soared upward  swiftly ,persisted palpitant and tensed and then slowly quivered into a dieing silence. My mind became numb with pain and cold. I felt myself drowning .Drowning to the bottom of eternity where this small pause of pain of death was a very impermanent thing . Just then I felt my lungs refilling itself with fresh air and ahead a hand pulling me upwards to life ; to hope . The last thing I saw was my mother's face and the last thing I heard was my mother sobbing on my chest before I became unconscious. Since then I was not allowed near the "Frozen lake of gloom"( as I named it) by my mother and by my fear.

Then why on such a pompous day did I valiantly stride to this place? Well my mother had left me. Left me alone with my aunt to feed and school me and my emotions to guide me. So my emotions led me to this place. The place where my mother had once saved my life .Once when I almost drowned she was there to pull me up and I hoped deep down that maybe she would again be here today to pull me up from the abyss of grief and loneliness I kept drifting into .

My eyes were so full of tears that I  could hardly see the branches of spruce and birch around me . A recent wind had stripped them off their silvery white coat of frost and snow and now they stood with their thin tentacles raised high as if begging God for mercy ;for life and warmth .They seemed almost scary so I stepped on to the frozen water way. Far but not so far ,I saw a figure. In a striking orange coat it stood out from the black and white background.how much I wished that figure to be my mother but no. I had seen her .I had seen her face white and pale ;a colour which could only describe the dead. My emotions overcame me again and I sat on the slippery ice crying .I could feel the figure coming closer. I could feel it's eyes on me but I did not care. I lied on the thin ice and looked above at the stars.My thoughts were too focused to notice the heat leaving my body and gusty winds blowing me colder. I wanted to spot which star she was now.

The desolate lifeless place was as if sucking the life out of me when I heard a man's voice ,"Storms coming girl, go back home now".

Storm? Wouldn't be bigger than the one inside for sure.

[🌹 Sadness makes us do reckless things . Things which our normal conscious self wouldn't allow . A force which expands the boundaries of our consciousness. I like to describe it as the strongest force guiding us to a more beautiful and more peaceful self.I hope you harness it well .🌹]