Whisper Me Your Screams

❦8

꧁ₚₐᵣₜ ₑᵢGₕₜ꧂

ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵇᵒᵈʸ ᵘˢᵘᵃˡˡʸ ᵏⁿᵒʷˢ
ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ. ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᵃˡˡᵉⁿᵍᵉ
ᶦˢ ˢᶦˡᵉⁿᶜᶦⁿᵍ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵐᶦⁿᵈ.
EIGHT OF NINE

I felt someone shaking my body, trying to wake me up. "What the.."

I look up with sleep eyes to see Michael. He tilts his head towards my window silently asking.

"What are you doing here?" I eyelids are heavy but I sit up anyway.

"Let's sneak away together." Michael says waiting for me to agree. It sounds more romantic than it actually is. He wants me to just leave and come back home later.

"But I'm sleeping.." I whine and lay back down, pulling my blanket over my body.

"Please? I came all the way here to get you."

"It's three in the morning!" I scoff, reading off my digital clock that's on my dresser.

"We have to talk anyway, and we might as well do it now while I'm here." He tries making his point while leaning towards the window.

"Ugh, fine. You owe me something. I'm too tired to think but you owe me when I want something." I say through my yawn.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He rolls his eyes out and reaches his hand out for me to grab. I grab his hand and stand up from my bed.

"I'm using the front door." I say, leading him downstairs.

"What if we get caught?" He asks and I ignore him. I continue to the front door and simply open it and grabbing my keys. He walks out the door first, I close and lock it behind us.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"It's a surprise." He doesn't say anything more but instead leads me a little further down my street.

Michael always parks a few houses down, just in case one of my parents ever woke up when he was there they wouldn't see the car.

He unlocks it and we both get in. He takes the driver's seat and I take the passenger.

I haven't got my license yet, it's not that I don't want too. I don't have a car and my dad would never teach me. Oh, well. I have Michael to drive me around.

We drive for a couple minutes in silence, until we take a turn into a parking lot.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"5 months ago today, is the first time you and I ran climbed out of your window and came to this exact location." Michael says climbing out of the car.

I swing the door open, getting out and observing my surroundings. We're at Sunrise beach. The first and only place I've ever sneaked out of the house too.

"I hope we're not going swimming. The water is scary at night." I say and he laughs shaking his head.

"No, but I brought beer and for you watermelon." He grabs a couple of items it the trunk of the car before closing it.

He's holding a container, a blanket, and a six-pack of beer.

"Want some help?" I ask walking over to him. He hands me the blanket, and we start walking towards the water.

There's this bridge like structure, on the beach that goes a little over the water. He takes me over it, and we sit at the end of it.

He lays the blanket out and sets the stuff in top of it, while I lay down onto it. He sits at the edge and dips only his feet into the water.

"I think.. What's been going on Ryan?"

"It's only happened a few times. And it isn't even that bad." I know saying this doesn't exactly make the situation any better.

"Nothing you say will justify your dad's actions. Why has he even been hitting?"

"I'm gay."

"No shit Sherlock."

"No, I mean he's hit me because he doesn't want a gay son." I start to feel embarrassed.

"And hitting you is gonna somehow turn you straight, the fuck." I know he's mad at my dad, but I can't help but feel he's mad at me too for not telling him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." I genuinely feel bad.

"You have nothing to apologize for, it's not your fault."

"I know," I say. "You can't tell anyone though."

"What?" He asks.

"Please, he's still my dad and I-I just. " I stutter, I'm not sure how to form the right words. He's my dad I don't want to see him hurt even after what he's done to me.

"If you get the apartment with me I won't tell. That way I know your safe and you'll be away from your dad." He says, looking like he's having a debate in his head.

"Okay." I know there's a lot more to talk about but I just want to enjoy the moment for now.

"Ryan?" He looks over to me.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful please." He doesn't seem nervous as he talks but I can tell by the way he's playing with his sleeve.

"I'll be fine, I promise."

...

Michael thoughts

I was only about nine and Ryan was eight, my mom used to have summer barbecues every year. And every year Ryan's family was invited. It started at about five p.m. and it didn't end until maybe ten or twelve. There was drinking and grilling on the grill.

When I was younger my mom and I used to have a pool our back yard, but eventually she couldn't keep up with cleaning it and just got rid of it. anyway back to the story, Ryan and I used to spend our summers in that pool. Never getting out unless we were hungry or had to use the bathroom.

One warm summer night when my mom was having one of her barbecues, Ryan and I were in the pool as usual. It was like nine thirty and all the adults went into the house to play stupid fucking card games that to this day i still don't know how to play.

I'm not really the type to write cheesy fucking letters that one day won't mean anything but I've always loved stars. Not so much actually learning about them, but they way they look twinkling in the night sky. I like the idea that wishing on a star will grant you any wish. The concept is beautiful and pure, something you don't really anymore. We swam and just watched the stars as they danced in the moonlight.

Maybe that's why I like Ryan. The thought of him is innocent, untainted. He doesn't smoke, drink, or even fucking cuss. he's the expect opposite of me. i don't ever really want him to change, to find out someone as sweet as Ryan is getting beat up at home... the thought is kind of heart breaking.

Your father is supposed to shield you from pain not be the one causing it. Your dad is someone you're supposed to look up to. if you don't want to raise your own kids how you were raised then somethings wrong.

I used to blame myself for my dad, it was really upsetting. after a while i just came to terms with the fact my dad left. He quickly packed his things and moved across the country after my mom him she was pregnant.

I blamed myself for my moms unhappiness, I thought maybe if I wasn't born he wouldn't have caused her so much pain. But I was wrong. He didn't deserve someone as great as my mom, I know I wasn't always the easiest on my mom but i really don't know anyone stronger than her. She stopped her whole life because of me and ill always be grateful to her.

My mom and Ryan have always been the only ones there for me. I love them but I know i won't just go up to them and say that, ill show it in different ways until the day I die.