Feathers

7

Bucky paced his room, running his hands through his hair. He was still piecing together what had happened, he remembered laying down to go to sleep. He was feeling great, helping you, it gave him something to focus on instead of wandering the compound trying to forget what he had done. The next thing he knows is he was surrounded by bits of tree. He closed his eyes, biting his lip. Still the image of you laying on the couch, obviously in pain, with Tony guarding you, sped through his mind like a run away freight train.
   He knew some how the Winter Soldier had come out. He had already been made aware by Steve that did happen from time to time. Everyone knew that when it did happen to stay away and let Steve or Tony deal with him. However you didn't know, nobody had a chance to tell you and now you were paying the price. God, if he only had locked the damn door, or told you sooner.
    Bucky looked at the whole in his door, his heart sinking. He hurt you, and more over, most likely broke whatever little trust you did have in him. Guilt flowed through him as he plopped down on the edge of his bed, you were the only person who didn't know his past. And you didn't give him that sad faraway look the others did, you didn't look at him like he was broken.

    "So, tell me exactly why he snapped." You finally spoke up, arm still over your face.
     "Feathers, as I said the man has issues." Tony reiterated, you growled under your breath.
     "Okay, tell me his issues, and please spare the crap of it's not your place to tell. Because I'm pretty sure if you hadn't showed up when you did he would of killed me." You almost hissed at him, your anger starting to get the better of you.
     "He was brainwashed for close to seventy years, that kind of programming that takes a while to wear off. He was used as a killing machine." Tony explained, running his hand down his face. "Sometimes when he sleeps it gets triggered."
      "How do we deal with him when that happens?" You ask, Tony snapped his head to you, shock on his face that you the capacity to even ask.
      "Beat some sense into him, or try to keep going till he snaps out of it." He replied, you finally moved your arm out the way. Giving him a cold look.
      "Looks like I need a self defense class then."

The next evening you came out of your room, every part of you was stiff. You went straight to the kitchen and took something to help. You saw Bucky standing in the common room, you could see the guilt on him plain as day. You stood there trying your best to figure out how to approach the subject you were about to.
     "So..." you started taking a deep breath. "About last night."
      "I'm sorry." He stated softly looking down at the ground, quite the stark difference from the night before.
      "It's not exactly your fault, now is it?" Slowly you entered the common room, he lifted his eyes slightly to you.
       "I still did what I did." He mumbled.
       "If you can forgive me for hitting you unprovoked, I can forgive you for this." You reply, stopping feet from him.
       "It's not the same, I could of killed you." He snapped, his eyes finally meeting yours fully.
      "That's why I want you to train me." Your words came out strong.
      "Why me?" He asked, his brows started to knot together.
      "Cause if you train me I'll know what to expect." It was the smartest thing you could think of, why have someone who doesn't know what the Winter Soldier is thinking to train you, when the man who was the Winter Soldier could.
      "Are you sure?" His face soften a bit, taken back your request.
      "Dead serious, cause I don't want another instance like last night to happen again and not be prepared for it." You watched him as your words sank in, you could see a mix of relief and pain cross his face.
     "If you're sure, when do want to start?"
     "We can start tonight." You say, walking towards the door.
     "It would be easier in the gym, there are mats there, it won't hurt so much." He said following you.
     "And that's why we doing it outside, cause I highly doubt that when the Winter Soldier comes out he'll wait till we get to the gym to attack." You explain, stepping out into the cool night. You get about ten feet from the building before you turn to face him. Bucky looks wounded and lost for a moment, before taking a breath. "And no going easy on me cause I'm a girl either. Train me like you would a man."
    "But I don't." You cut him off with a sharp raise of your hand.
    "Do not finish that sentence if it's going to be I don't want to hurt you, cause you already did that." You weren't angry with him, just stating the facts, you saw the pain in his eyes the moment it came from your mouth. As much as it hurt you to say, he needed to hear it. "I have forgiven you, I have, but I'm sure you've had enough people tip toeing the stuff that happened while you weren't under your own control to last you a life time. I don't coddle and I don't sugar coat, I never have and I never will. So from here on out you be straight with me and I'll be straight you, deal?"
    He was quiet for a moment, his eyes staring straight into you. Your heart started to speed up, hoping that you hadn't offended him but it was the truth. A smirk pulled up at the corner of his mouth, a glint hinted in his eye. Something switched in him in that moment, you were only slightly worried. It wasn't the same cold, vacant stare from the night before. This was almost mischievous in away, he chuckled softly, shaking his head.
     "Does that mean you're going to talk all night or are we actually going to this?"