To my surprise and enjoyment we ended up having dinner at a low key restaurant. It was nice and small and quaint. It didn't seem to be Harry's first dinner here. The waitstaff and hostess referred to him at Harry rather than Mr. Styles which was nice to hear.
The entirety of our dinner went by smoothly. There was nothing awkward in our conversations. It was as if we were just catching up like old times. I could see and hear the maturity surrounding him. He had done some changing. It made him more attractive as person than before. My heart still warmed at how kind he was with everyone.
"How has London treated you these last few years?" he asked as our waitress filled my wine glass with the best red wine I had ever tasted.
"Well," I said as I leaned my head to the side and contemplated his question seriously, "it's been a true learning experience. I have loved exploring England as a whole. Cat has show me a lot of things I never would have imagined looking for too." I could feel the smile on my face.
"I'm glad Cat has been here for you. I fell in love with London myself years ago." Harry smiled back at me as he spoke. I remember when he fell in love with London. He was sixteen. That's when the London heard his beautiful voice.
I couldn't help but to stare at him. I was so overcome with happiness. I know we both needed these last few years to find ourselves but having him back truly felt right. Even if we were meant to be just friends I loved his presence. He was a kind soul. Everything felt better with him around. I opened my mouth to tell him this but stopped. I was nervous. Though we weren't awkward with one another I was really nervous to tell him how I felt. I no longer kept things to myself but this was new territory. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. He watched me expectantly. He looked merely curious. I took a chance.
"I have to say, I'm glad I made the time to have dinner. These last few years gave me a lot of time to think and I really have missed you in my life. You're one of a kind and it's a breath of fresh air. Honestly." I inhaled a deep breath as I finished. I watched carefully as a smile crept up onto his features, pronouncing his dimples.
"You're different." he said simply. He was still smiling, resting his chin on his hand.
"Different?"
"You've always spoke what's on your mind but now, there's a different quality to it. You weigh your thoughts heavily. You think longer and your words seem to come out more passionate than before. The light in your eyes shines bright, so bright it's mesmerizing. It's lovely to see how much you've grown." he was still smiling, looking at me as if this was the first time he was truly seeing me.
In a way, I guess this was his first time seeing me. The real, true, mature me. The me that learned how hard it could be to lose someone so close to you because of your own faults. I really did learn from my mistakes. I lived my life in the moment without any omissions. I only had one life to live and I was determined to live it the way I was meant to. The last five years were a time where I matured and worked hard for everything I wanted and needed. I wanted success, so I became successful. It was a goal I had worked hard to obtain and now worked hard to keep. Harry understood that. I could see it in the way we spoke to each other and how he told me I was different now.
Us falling apart pushed the limits and made us stronger people. This is where we needed to be regardless if we were together romantically or not.
"I'm not the only one who is different." I smiled warmly.
"Ah, I think I'm the same really." he said cheekily.
"You're much more to yourself these days, I hear." I said grinning as he put a hand to his chest.
"Who? Me? Never. That's totally Niall." Harry said still smiling. He knew that was something I would laugh at. Niall was still the most connected and active with fans. Harry and the others were too, but Niall seemed to keep them updated on his comings and goings more than the others.
"Also, you're style. Impeccable." I said with a flourish of my hand. Harry bent in his seat giving me a bow. I couldn't contain my laughter. I missed this the most. The playful banter and jokes back and forth. No one could match him other than Louis.
We sat and talked for hours. By the time our conversation died out the restaurant was closing up. I looked around realizing I hadn't once paid attention to anything going on around Harry and me. I was surprised at first. Then, after thinking about it for a moment, I knew that this was normal for us. We got so wrapped up in our own little bubble. It had been nice to thoroughly catch up with him.
"There's a park across the way. Feel like a stroll?" Harry asked as I slipped on my jacket and stood from our table.
"Sounds like a great idea." I smiled and let him lead the way.
We walked in silence around the park. It was late enough that hardly anyone was out. The night air was warmer than I expected. I slipped off my jacket and carried it over my crossed arms. The night was mostly quiet and comfortable. The silence between Harry and I was completely comfortable and not forced at all.
I sat at a nearby fountain and gazed up at the sky. The moon was showing its face in full tonight.
"Lani." Harry whispered as he laid on the edge of the fountain, his face closest to me.
"Yes, Harry." I whispered back.
"I'm really glad we did this. It tore me up not being able to check up on you myself."
I sat not speaking for a moment as his words sank in. There was a slight pang in my chest. It hurt to hear him say it out loud.
"I'm glad we did this too... and the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you again. I won't."
I felt his eyes on me before I looked down at him. The green of his eyes were brighter than the full moon.
"Friends then?" he asked holding up his hand. I smiled. I took his hand and allowed him to shake it vigorously.
"Ow, I'm not a ragdoll." I said laughing and pulling my hand away before he shook the entire thing off my body.
I looked to to the sky with a smile on my face. I felt relieved and happy. A feeling of contentment I had never felt before had come over me. It was an amazing feeling.
