Broken Promises

Part 1

I remember the time when we confessed our feelings to each other by the end of highschool. We were bestfriends and inseperable; two peas in a pod as our friends like to call us. Everything between us was going great, really.

We would sneak out in the middle of the night and cuddle up inside your truck and talk about random things and the future. We also promised one night that you won't leave me and that we'll both be in each other's future.

But deep inside, I knew better. Just for tonight, I thought, I'd let myself believe what you said; maybe it was because of the fact that everything felt right at that moment.

Oh, who was I kidding.

It may be too soon to talk about it, but we were young back then. After all, we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.

The day we both dreaded came; when it was time for you to leave to continue college in New York.

"Aren't you gonna say goodbye to him?" My mom asked slightly opening the door of my bedroom.

I sighed. "I've already said it to him earlier. There's no need to." I picked up the remote and started flipping through channels. It's gonna be much harder anyway; for me at least. I've already bawled my eyes out the past few nights and I didn't wanna cry in front of him like a pathetic baby when he leaves, plus, the taxi driver would look at me like I was acting like a kid who's mom refuse to buy her favorite candy from a store.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

I heard her mumble something that I didn't quite catch. "If you need anything, I'll be downstairs." She gave me a sad smile which translates to: Just in case you change your mind, he's still saying a few words to his mom and I while your dad helps with the transferring of his bags into the cab. So please come downstairs. Before I even had the chance to reply back, she already closed the door.

No mom. I needed this closure. Even if it hurts to see him go, I knew I was being hard on myself but I can't think of any other options. If I could just handcuff myself here so I wouldn't manage to run after him pleading that he doesn't need to go, but that would make me seem like a pathetic clingy girlfriend, so there's that.

While I'm handling this disclosure thing that I forced myself into, I needed to see him. Just one last look even its from far away.

So I got up from the couch and walked towards my window; my heart tightening with each step. I subtly move the curtain away so I can see him, but not fully revealing myself. Just him. God, I felt like a creep. Judging from what I'm seeing, my dad had already finished helping with his bags and was now walking towards mom and placed his right arm on her waist. His mom is facing him, arms folded while holding a tissue to cover her nose and to stop herself from sobbing. My dad placed his hand on her shoulder for reassurance.

I felt my eyes stinging, I blinked for a couple times to hold back the tears that was threatening to fall. One managed to fall in my left eye and I quickly wipe it off with my palm. My hand movement must have been noticeable because that was when he looked up and saw me. He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes and I could almost see that his eyes was starting to water so he quickly averted his gaze to his mom. I feel like I'm missing out, I feel like I didn't belong when out of all people I should be down there too saying my goodbyes to him. I was his girlfriend. And no matter how he tried to look strong and not break down I can still see it. He needed me as much as I need him too.

He began to hug his mom giving her a tight squeeze, that's when she started crying uncontrollably into his chest. He proceed to hug my mom next and my dad gave him a pat on the back. He quickly composed himself and regained his posture. It's as if my legs had a mind on its own when I started running. Fuck, I thought.

I didn't care anymore. All I care about now is him, I reminded myself to bitch slap myself later on while I write a five page that wrote I'm the dumbest girlfriend and stupid one that ever existed. Okay, got a little dramatic there but its not the point, all I know is that I'm running down and skipping each step of the stairs to give him a piece of my bone crashing hug before he leaves.

But sometimes, fate likes to play tricks on you and does the otherwise. When I opened the door, my parents were already in the sidewalk and he was already inside the cab. I no longer cared if I was barefoot or not; that guy out there needed me so I ran. I was about only a few yards from the car when strong arms trapped me from behind, only to look it was my dad. "Dad, let me go!" I hissed at him while I struggled to get away. He didn't know. He thought I was gonna stop him and beg for him to stay, which I was going for, but apparently my dad had to get in the way.

This isn't fair. Well, so is life. Him leaving was like taking my other half of what I am. It sounded painfully cliché but it was the truth. I couldn't handle this. I felt like there was a waterfall that's gonna come out anytime soon, it hasn't started to come out yet because there's something trapping it and I feel that if it lets go all the tears would have come crashing down, like it wanted me to drown in it. The only thing that's stopping it though, was my dad's strong grip on me. I wish he wouldn't let go.

But its also holding me against him. I pleaded him to come back with my eyes. Why isn't he coming out of the cab? I wanted him to release me from the strong grip and hug me, telling me that he's not going anywhere and that all this time it was just a silly joke. But nothing. You bastard! Come on. I screamed internally. No words came out of his mouth.

The cab started to move. "I'll see you!" He shouted as he stick his head through the windows. The car came into a stop. I didn't expect him to say anything after that but he did, "I'm sorry," I know that sense of tone, he uses it when he did something horrible and that also leads us to argue and have fights sometimes.

I couldn't keep it now. He deserves to know. With all the dignity and courage I had left, I decided to say it. "I love you!" I shouted with all that I can muster. I didn't get a respond back, I expected that but can I at least get a word? I felt my dad's grip loosen and that's when the floodgates opened. I looked at him one last time, he had his eye closed and his right elbow rested on the side while his head leaned against it. The cab finally starting to move, I bet the driver was relieved to leave, I can't blame him though, him having to witness that the guy didn't love the girl back at all who he left behind.

So much for not crying like a pathetic baby. I'm already pathetic.

I blinked back the tears that had fallen. I was reminiscing so hard; all the pain I had gone through, but I was determined back then. I was a stubborn bitch who was determined to at least maybe try. Try what? I don't know. Maybe I was desperate for answers; and I knew that's what I needed.

Writer's note: the quote "After all, we were all just humans.." was by Christopher Poindexter.