I was waiting for Alex to get here.
Looking at my collection of movies to find something to watch. I wanted to find something that maybe could finally tell him how I feel about him. But what would be the perfect movie? My eyes scanned through running out of options. My eyes finally landed on one of my all time favorite movies. I picked it up and knew this one was the winner. I hurried and popped it into the DVD player and then finished getting ready. My phone dinged and I knew that he was here. I put a finishing touch on my hair and then ran to the door.
I fixed my shirt before turning the knob. "Hey you!" My eyes met his. His blue eyes were always so light and you could get so easily lost in them. His smile grew big.
"Hey!" He came in passed me and began taking his shoes off. He slid his jacket off and hung it on the couch.
"Did you want anything before the movie?" I headed toward the fridge. " Sure, if you have any tea?" I nodded grabbing two bottles and tossed him his. I grabbed the lights before sitting on the couch and playing the DVD. "Soooooo what movie are we watching today?"
I smiled big, " Its called Love, Rosie. it is one of my favorite movies." He rolled his eyes. " Oh gosh is it a dumb romance movie?" I punched him in his shoulder.
"Listen okay, it is a good movie you just have to give it a chance." He smiled and shook his head. The previews started to play and another romance movie caught my eye. I heard a long unbearable sigh beside me. I looked over to Alex pretending to blow his brains out and lay dead on the couch.
I pushed him over the couch and he then grabbed my waist and pulled me down with him. I started laughing with my head in his chest, I started to pull myself up when his hands held my arms in place. I froze, he brought a hand up to my face and pushed some hair behind my ear.
"Looks like you are gonna have to be a little bit more careful." his hand then started to caress my cheek. I could feel them starting to get hot. What do I do now? His blue eyes looked into mine, I could feel myself once again starting to get lost in them, then I remembered the movie.
"Welp don't want to miss the movie right?"
I quickly got up and took a seat again on the couch. Alex slowly got up and sat on the other end of the couch while I clicked play. As the movie was about half an hour in I was in a daze. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. I had known Alex for some time now so what was the big deal? Why was he making me feel this way now? I've liked him for so long you would think that these stupid butterflies would go away. hell after 5 years you think that they would stop, but of course not to me.
These butterflies were swarming inside of me. That's not how he was feeling though, right? I mean he couldn't feel the same though. After everything that has happened before there was no way someone like him could ever fall for someone like me. He was everything that I wanted, and if only he could see that about himself. He is perfect in my eyes, always has been. Pull yourself together woman, just watch the movie with him and act normal. I looked down and noticed my hands begin to shake. My anxiety had started to kick in, I tried to think of something else but I was failing miserably.
Alex looked over and saw me struggling to keep still. "Everything okay Lauren?" he smiled up at me.
"Oh. Yeah, yeah everything is good, I'm good, everything is fine."
He looked at me puzzled and then brought his hand to mine and held it. Chills went up and down my spine and I began to feel dizzy. What was going on with me now? His thumb started moving back and forth in a smoothing motion to help calm my nerves. I looked down at our hands and how they were now intertwined. They looked like they fit together perfectly, he looked over and saw me stare.
"Is that okay with you?"
I snapped out if my trance, nodded and went back to watching the movie. Another half hour into the movie and a sad scene was playing, it started to make me think about Alex and I. What was going to happen to us? Would we end up like these two idiots on the screen? Would I ever be able to really tell him how I felt or would he just brush me off? This time my anxiety took its course and My legs began to shake as well. Alex got closer to me and wrapped his arms around me.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. everything is alright, you are here and it's a safe place. Nothing bad is going to happen to you, not while I'm here."
He began to rub my back and started humming a tune in my ear. He was trying to calm me down but at the same time it made me more nervous. This guy has always had this sort of affect on me. Any slight touch, or saying something a certain way it was like electricity went through me.
But how could I possibly ever say that to him. He probably heard stupid stuff like that all the time anyway. Hell he has probably heard it all before. When he walks into the room all eyes go to him because he is handsome, his witty humor and his fast no hesitation replies, his laughter that can fill the room and make everyone feel joy, how gentle he is with others emotions and feelings, How he is very hard on himself because he doesn't feel good enough but in reality he is more than enough, How he thinks so much about others although he needs to start thinking more about himself. How his smile is not seen as much to others and needs to be seen by more. His joy is a special gift that everyone deserves to receive.
His soul has been broken many times before, but I think it can be mended in time. I could go on and on for days about this guy, but what worries me is that I have no idea in my mind if he even feels the same way about me.
He pulled away and looked into my eyes. I turned away feeling my face getting hot again. I froze when I heard him start to laugh.
"Whats wrong Lauren? Do I make you nervous?" My breaths began to pick up, my heart was racing, what kind of question was that? Of course me made me nervous. He had always made me nervous. I have never gotten over this feeling. What could I do to stop these butterflies?
"Lauren I asked you a question."
I snapped out of my trance and as I came back to reality Alex was inches apart from my face.
"Y-yeah what was it again?" There was not that much space left between us. What was he doing this close? Why was I asking all of these questions in my head?
"I said do I make you nervous?"
"N-no."
He smiled evil at me. " Tell me the truth Lauren."
I shook my head slowly. "Um n-no Alex that's crazy." I pushed a hair behind my ear and avoided making any eye contact.
I felt a hand wrap around the back of my neck and it made me look up at him.
"I can tell you aren't telling me the truth so I am just gonna have to find out myself."
Alex pushed himself forward making he roll back onto the couch. My heart began racing a thousand miles per hour. It started to feel so hot in here. He closed his eyes and slowly leaned in towards me. I looked down at his lips, was he really going to kiss me?
Well I guess here goes nothing. I closed my eyes and leaned back into him. His lips touched mine and I melted. Fireworks went off in my head. It was like an explosion inside me. They were so soft and he was so gentle.
His arms wrapped around me and pulled me in closer to him. Alex pulled away and smiled down at me.
"Well?"
"Y-yes...you always have."
