INSANE?

SEPTEMBER 9TH: MAROON'S ROOM 

  I've learned to trust no one, this is a god damn world we live in. People like and just forget you ever have a name, they don't ive a shit if you're on your deathbed, atleast for me. I walk the world alone while people laugh and point like im some walking comedy show; i guess you could say I am, to them. The words hurt like dagers I just wish they'd leave me alone for once...you could tell by my scars i'm crazy, hell, you could tell by just looking in my eyes. 

      I'm Maroon Carson, 16, I live in Baltimore, Maryland with my mom and dad. My mother is a nurse and my father is a therapist, iroic right:? I have all the help I need to recover, but stragly I choose not to. I fine no beauty in this world, everything is dull. I don't even like my bedroom, not because its 'new' but because I just simply don't want to live in it, I don't even wanna live. 

      My room was dark, the walls were brownish, my bed sheets were black, I had a TV but never bothered to turn it on, what the world shows is ignorant, so I don't watch. I read a lot, about stuff I like, it's somehow calms me down when i'm not into deep. I don't really eat; I find food gross, it can make you fat, which is the oppisite of what I want to be. I sat on my bed with my legs crossed looking at the empty wall, my thoughts were racing as always. I wanted...I wanted to die. I had nothing here, no one waiting for me, what's the point in living?  But I was scared to find out what its was like on the other side, so I just stay here miserable. 

Dreading going to my new school I got up and went to the bathroom to shower. I took my clothing off and couldn't help but look at my self in the mirror with pure disgust, I was fat and I hated it, I wanted to lose weight, even if it killed me, my scars were noticible over my plae skin making me look like a tiger, a tiger I didn't want to be. I got in the shower and turned on the hot water and soon steam started filling the small room. 

*knock* 

"H-Hello..?" I said with a shakey voice. I was to scared to open the shower curtain so I just backed up against the cold tile and water travled down my skin I notcie the water would get cold than hot, than cold than hot. Thus causing me not to move nor make a sound. 

SEPTEMBER 10TH: METFEILD HIGH

      My first day of school, I walked the hallways alone, I wore an oversized shirt and some light blue jeans. I didn't want to be noticed; but i always was. I didn't want friends, they always stab you in the back and leave. The halls were filled with monsters that were dressed up as humans, each and every one was cruel in their own little way, none were nice. This hall felt like a gateway to hell - which is'nt completely incorrect, every step i took I felt like I was walking more and more closer to tourcher.

      My first class was terrible, I didn't pay much attention. I got put in the front which I always hated . Part of me wanted to kill every single one of him, painfully yet slowly. 

"freak" I heard someone snikered to me. It was true, I was a freak, I deserved to die, anything and everything they said i've already heard and knew was true. I hated school, I make no friends, teachers hate me.