Momo enjoys placing her right hand on Sana's hip and her left around the back of her neck just so that she can pull her closer. She can't help but laugh against her lips when Sana slips her leg between her own. Sana is never guilty about it; she loves the way Momo turns a pretty red and she buries her face into her neck. Sana loves everything about Momo.
It's late.
It's not her fault that they had to stay late just to rehearse over and over again, really. She just wants to perfect this move and get it as smooth and accurate as possible. And yet she can't seem to and she doesn't know what the hell is wrong.
Sana is tired. Momo can tell by the way she whines more and tries clinging to Momo more often. And yet she still stays because she wants to make sure that Momo is alright.
"You're skipping on the third beat you know," Sana points out, resting her hands on Momo's waist and Momo knows that she turns fucking red because Sana is touching her and she's frustrated and she just wants to perfect this stupid choreography. "Try relaxing more and moving more to the left after you turn. You'll get to the right position on time."
And she does. Seven hours used trying to figure out what she was doing wrong and Sana figured it out in less than two minutes. And Momo wants to kiss Sana because of how happy she is. But she can't because her anxiety is back and she can't breathe because there's a weight on her chest and she kind of feels like she's drowning just a little bit.
"Just because you're in charge of dance doesn't mean you have to be perfect, darling." Sana wraps her arms around Momo as she slides to the floor, breathing uneven and eyes already clouding up with tears. "We love you just the way you are."
"Don't wanna be a-"
"And I don't want to hear you talking bad about yourself! Come on, up. You need rest." Sana holds onto Momo's hand tight and she feels just a little better because Sana is by her side.
"Can I sleep with you?" Momo hates sounding so small, but right now she just wants Sana.
"Always." Dahyun would be fine squeezing herself into bed with Tzuyu.
Sana tastes like strawberries in the morning. Momo loves the way she tastes and how wonderful and bright Sana looks in the morning. Of course, Sana always tries covering her face. She's too afraid of being too bloated to look at Momo. One day she'll stop thinking like that, Momo decides.
Sana supposes that she likes fansigns. No, she knows that she loves them because any woman, child, or man that gets to even see her always light up and it's the second best feeling in the world (Momo laughing because of her is the first).
And they're good for fan service, too. Sana knows that she's supposed to answer, "Dahyunnie!" when she gets asked which member she would marry (if she were a man. Sana hates that). She can't seem to stop herself however.
"Momoring!"
And it's true. Sana wants to marry her best friend and kiss her whenever she wants. She wants to make sure Momo feels appreciated and she wants to make sure she can always give Momo the entire world because it's what she deserves.
Sana hopes that Momo knows that she loves her because she does. God, she does. Momo hopes that Sana knows that she loves her. Momo has always loved her. Especially when Sana is being annoying or clingy with another member (It's natural for Sana), she loves her.
Everyone knows that they love each other. It's so obvious on Momo's part (Chaeyoung has told her dozens of times that there's something different in Momo's eyes when she looks at Sana). Momo's glad that they can tell.
Mina knows the most.
Sometimes she can't sleep because she misses home, and she can hear Momo mumbling to Sana about her worries. She's happy that they've found purchase in one another. And she doesn't mind that Momo sneaks into Sana's bed late at night to steal kisses and to just talk to each other.
Showers are Momo's favourite because she can stop thinking for once. Showers with Sana are even better because Sana always makes sure that Momo forgets before helping her relax.
Sana is gentle.
Sana cares so, so much.
Sana lathers some more soap into her hands before placing them on Momo's shoulders softly, trailing down as slow as possible so that she can take Momo in. It's Sana's most favourite thing to do.
"You're so pretty," Sana gives in as she kisses her neck, moving her right hand so that it's resting on Momo's stomach. She tastes like a peach (Jeongyeon would laugh at that. Probably not), and like their way too expensive soap. If Sana dies because she ends up poisoned, she doesn't think she'll mind. Momo sighs, relaxing against Sana.
"You're wrong. You've been on fire lately with your lies." Momo laughs breathily, grabbing Sana's hand before it can go any lower.
"I don't have to lie," Sana replies, pouting against Momo's skin. "Please let me make you feel good. You've been so sad lately and I just wanna see your pretty smile again. You won't let me take you out anywhere, too."
"It's almost Chaeyoung's turn to shower, no touching. But maybe we can go to the park, later."
"Really?" Sana beams, backing away from Momo just so that she can place her hand on her forehead. "What did I do to deserve this?"
Momo wants to know what she did to deserve Sana.
It smells like spring, all bright and warm and wonderful. And Sana is enjoying it, already dancing and singing in a mix of broken English and Korean. She looks incredibly stupid, but she's happy and Momo finds it kind of endearing.
When Sana reaches out to grab her hand, Momo suddenly forgets about the fact that people will most definitely take pictures and there may be some rumors later on. Sana can't stop laughing as she spins Momo a little too dramatically and she ends up tripping over her own feet. She couldn't care less; Momo's smile is the brightest and best thing at the moment.
Momo wonders why Sana tastes so much like strawberries if she doesn't eat them all that often. It's the biggest mystery to her in the morning when she stumbles into the bathroom and Sana just finishes brushing her teeth and Momo has to shower, but kissing Sana seems more important in that moment. She still tastes like strawberries.
It's a good thing, Momo believes; she's never been too keen on mint anyway.
Momo can't sleep.
And neither can Sana, but that's not a bad thing. She can make sure Momo smiles before trying to make her sleep. And she does try.
"Sana?"
"Yes?"
"I don't think I was meant to debut with you and Mina." Momo's voice breaks just slightly and Sana reacts quickly, pulling Momo closer to her body and linking their pinkies together.
"You were always meant to debut with us,"
"I was eliminated."
"And you were brought back. He saw your potential, love," Sana sighs into Momo's hair, idly stroking her wrist. Momo really can't do anything but bury her face into Sana's chest, listening to the way her heart beats; Momo finds it calming. "I hate that you talk so badly about yourself. You always tell me that you don't deserve this and that you're so unworthy and terrible. I wish you'd realize that you're amazing and you're one of the most deserving to be here with us."
"It's not so simple," Momo replies, trying her very best to steady her breathing. "I don't see what you see."
"I'll make you see someday. You're damn near perfect, Momo, you know? No, you don't know. God. I love you. Please tell me that you know that."
"Normal at best," Momo corrects, cold hands finding their way under Sana's shirt. "And I know that you do."
"Good. Can you sleep? You haven't been resting well lately."
"Okay." Momo finds it harder to say that she loves Sana when they're alone. But she still hopes Sana knows that she does.
Momo loves it when Sana gives in one day, kissing Momo in front of the other members. None of them react, and so Sana kisses Momo again, and again until she can't breathe.
"Does lying hurt?" Momo asks one day, refusing to look at Sana. Sana frowns, because what else would she do?
"You tell me. You're always lying with that talk that you're not good enough."
"If I'm lying, then no it doesn't." Momo replies, grimacing at the nonexistent taste of water.
Sana feeds Momo a strawberry the next day (and she's disappointed because yes, she will have to eat a fucking fruit) and Momo discovers that she much prefers Sana's lips rather than the actual fruit itself. Sana tastes better than any strawberry.
Momo wishes Sana was still here. And Momo still hopes that Sana knows that she loves her and the cares too much for her and that Momo wanted to give Sana everything she could.
But she supposes it was her own fault that Sana took her life; Momo was never good at reading her anyway.
****
4.4.18
I wrote this but then i accidentally deleted it. Also a strawberry isnt a fucking fruit??
anyway natural selection is coming for me :))))))
