Days of Medical Student (Clinical Practice)

Prolog

"why do you wanna be a doctor?"
It was the question I would get whenever people know I was a medical student for the first time. And it was a very thoughtful question cause the answer was complex.

"because of the salary?"
It wasn't about the money 'cause to be in medical, the tuition itself was already high. If I wanted money, I wouldn't want to waste lots of time for getting my tuition money back from my salary. For you whom didn't know, the salary of doctor (without any specialization) wasn't as big as fresh graduate from other faculty. To got a proper salary or more, it needed lots of time and work. And we worked with living human, tiny mistake could lead us to punishment (which also had cost).

"is it because you want to help people?"
It was more than just "helping" people (even yes we wanted to help people but it wasn't main reason), you could still help people whatever your job was.

So, to be honest I didnt know why. It just happened from all of the complexities, bunches of reasons, many scenes that led me to a decision "I would dedicate myself to be a doctor".

But if I should answer, maybe my answer was because I wanted my life to have meaning for others. And this job was how I thought I could be "something". I didn't need to be famous or did big thing in medical field, even if there was only one person who felt grateful for my dedication as doctor, all of my tiredness in medical was paid off.

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Was it difficult?
I'd to say it wasn't easy..
Before being a medical student, I had never done "trying so hard". But since there, I knew the meaning of "survive".
Tired, down, weary, fear, etc. Lots of moods came by. No matter how much I wanted to depend on something (friends, boyfriend, family), but at the end in the battle field, there was only me and God. We fought together.
I wouldn't be too religious in this story but I had to admit, I really couldnt be alone myself, I needed God. Without Him, I probably already gave up.

And I had to say, my university where I studied now wasn't my first choice but I had never regreted to be there. I believe there was reasons why I'd been put up there. I learned about friendship, love, attitude, faith, and many mores there. So, I believe wherever God would put me now or later, I knew there was reason.

💉💉💉