Zayn Malik Imagines

Zayn Malik imagine #4

Hi guys! Please read the authors note at the end. It's very important. Anyways this one is very difficult for me to write, but I have to cover as much as I can in order to keep doing imagines. This one is a bit sad, but I hope you guys get that I have to do this. This isn't for anyone in particular, but I know a lot of people suffer from this. At one point I was very close. Anyways there will be more o this subject in the authors note at the end, so please read it. It could help a lot of you.
Enjoy! :)
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I sit on the tile floor in my bathroom, contemplating if I really need to do this. I do. It's an escape.

If you haven't figured it out already, I cut. It all started two years ago when my whole world turned around. My friends all left me because of my weird mood swings. I was suffering from depression, but they didn't know that. My parents got a divorce, and the love of my life went off to the X Factor. He became an international pop-star. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for him, but I miss him terribly. Yes, I am in love with Zayn Malik of One Direction,but he's more than that to me. I knew him before he was famous. And believe me he hasn't changed.

Zayn doesn't know I cut. No one does, and it's better if it stays that way. I haven't told Zayn because one, what if he treats me differently? And two, he can't know it is just a sliver of his fault. I'm in love with the guy and he left. I get why he left, but I'm sad he did.

With all this in mind, I do it. I let the cool blade dig into my wrist. To be honest, I don't even feel the pain anymore. I have been doing this for two years, how could I still feel it?

I've tried, I really have, for Zayn.

I lean my head on the edge of the bathtub. I just let it take over me. I look down just in time to see the blood trickle on the floor. I make no move to clean it up, not yet.

I heard Zayn is coming back today. I've seen him about four times since he left for X Factor. All of them were only for a couple days at a time. So you can understand why I miss him. We were really close before, like best friends.

I smile at the thought.

My mom said that he was going to be staying with us for about two weeks. I was happy, but that meant I had to do a better job of covering up my scars. I didn't really have to cover them up until now, my mom works all the time, I don't ever see my dad, and I'm an only child. Yay. Please note the sarcasm.

I get up off of the floor and make my way to the sink. I was my wrist off, and clean up the mess I made in the bathroom. My mom said that he was going to be here in an hour.

I chose a cute sweater to wear, and a cute pair of shorts. I curled my hair and did light make-up. Just some mascara and lip gloss.

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"(Y/N) get down here! Someone wants to see you!" my mom yells.

"Coming mom!" I yell back. I knew it was Zayn. To say I was nervous was the understatement of the century.

I go down the stairs, as gracefully as possible, and into the kitchen. I see my mom and Zayn talking while my mom is getting him something to drink. As I walk over to them my feet make a sound on the tile and Zayn turns towards me. His face lights up and he smiles the biggest smile I've ever seen. I smile at him to, a real smile. I haven't actually smiled since... I can't remember.

"(Y/N) Oh my god I missed you so much!" Zayn exclaims. He wraps his arms around me and squeezes so tight that I start coughing. "Sorry," he smiles sheepishly.

"It's okay. I missed you too Zayn!" I yell just as loud as he did and hugged him. He instantly hugged me back, and the hug went on for about a second more than it should have.