(Character Heights + Ages =Reader: 18, 6 Ft 3 in W/o boots, 6 Ft 6 in W boots. Dipper & Mabel: Both 17, 5 Ft 8 in. Pacifica: 17, 5 ft 7 in. Bill: 21, 5 Ft 11 in. Gideon: 16, 5 Ft 5 in. Wendy: 19, 5 ft 10 in.
Z/s= Zodiac sign, H/t= Home town, F/c for story purposes can't be gold or blue so sorry in advance for that.
Warning this story contains: mentions of abusive families, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Underage Drinking, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Sex, Consensual Underage Sex, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Past Suicide Attempts, Homophobia, Dissociation, Depersonalization, Existential Crisis, Existential Angst, Self-Hatred, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, unreality, Emetophobia, Codependency, Body Horror, Not Canon-Typical Violence, Yandere Characters, past instances of neglect and physical abuse, homophobic slurs, mentally ill reader, both positive and negative views on religion though primarily negative, instances/mentions of stalking, lovecraftian themes, heavy existential dread/crisis, animal death, cults, symbolism actually way too much symbolism, abuse of authority/religion, self hate, self destructive behavior, mentions of codependency, unreality, emetophobia, religious trauma, etc.)
Title: Black sheep boy.
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You were sharp and jagged, a wild child, and bordering on the line of the devil's backbone.
You weren't the kind of person that doubted such key points of your own life and standing when such facts were versed and documented in the town you had been born in. The kind of talk that held the same weight as mentioning the weather; "It's cloudy today and that boy's still fucked up.", and you knew it well. No one cared how much you heard because you weren't going to get any better in their eyes. Wild child was nicer than most terms that you didn't care to remember and sharp and jagged were words based off your outfit and demeanor. A black sheep in a town of god's lambs and you knew it. No one liked a child who seemed to have the presence of Lucifer following after him so you tended to be ignored and ignore everyone else around you. Just ignore the massive book of insults that get tossed at you and keep your head down or else you'll attack and be too angry to be a person.
At some point even in your silence you had learned to pick all the ones you liked.
At this point you were simply unable to just clean the slate and become a member of god's flock but it wouldn't change a damn thing. Besides you had been sure to never dance to someone else's rhythm just for their happiness. You were used to it. Anyone that tried to force a change would get cut on the edges and would learn to never make the same mistake twice. Along the way you laugh and pick up a pile of names you enjoy. Your favorite for a while now was Gemini, a term that was actually on the mark/despite your zodiac sign being Z/s, but like always nothing changed.
You were just something not meant for anyone...a thing to exist but not to be used or cared for.
No matter.
You were never home, hadn't stayed home really in years, and your loving family on the eve of your eighteenth birthday decided that you were old enough to exist somewhere else than the small religious town that you had known for eighteen years of your life. They could've gotten rid of you earlier, you knew they wanted to, but it wouldn't have been proper so you had to wait. You had never really associated with that place the comforts of a home or at least not in the way the stories liked to play it up. You weren't fit to live there. How simple. How unspoken. You were in too many fights.
It was true, the scars along your thin hunger panged frame spoke volumes, but to your anger or others you weren't sure of.
You hated and loved fighting in equal breath because people would still whisper and come to their own conclusions but at least you were strong enough to live the life presented to you. Fighting as a person who was either ignored or threatened came natural to you and served as something you actually understood. Like most of the bad habits that followed you like a pack of dogs it started young. It helped you focus. You needed pain. A way to regain focus and control so that you could think when everything else was too much and too loud. For the longest period of time you watch the world fade into meaningless colors and shapes. People were outlines with static voices and dull sounds that echoed from the hole that you knew was their mouth but didn't see as one.
