My Memories of You » pcy.bbh

My Memories of You

 [ChanBaek/BaekYeol One shot]

English is just my second language so pagpasensyahan niyo na ito. Hahaha, sorry. I wrote this because of the issue about BaekYeon. I'm depressed, yes. But I don't hold any grudge against it. Paano na si Chanyeol ngayong wala na si Baek? :c

Gusto ko lang ilabas ang aking nadarama, ge. Short one shot ito ha? :) 

Thank you for reading! ♥

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I'm walking through this busy street as I saw you. It's been 3 years since you left me. I thought my feelings for you had already faded away, but I think I've mistaken. I see you're happy now...with her. Your hand she's holding was once I held dearly. I'm starting to tear up so I turned around and made my way back home.

I'm now preparing for my dinner. I remembered the times where I'd always cook for you and you'd always praise me for being a great chef. 

After I've eaten, I went inside my room. I saw my king sized bed where we used to make love and cuddle after we finish. I'd kiss your forehead and hug you. I'd always wake up with my ears getting nibbled by you. I'd act angry and then you'd kiss my cheek and say 'I love you, Yeollie'. We'd always shower together and you'd rub my back. 

Okay. Enough with these reminiscing, I'm going to sleep. I'll try to forget you, again.

I got up early because I have a 7:00am class so I got ready and made my way to the university.

There I saw you, again. Sitting under that tall tree where we had our first kiss. But now, you're with somebody else. Why does my heart feels like being stabbed a hundred times whenever I see you? I thought I've moved on but why? I remember the time when you confessed your feelings for me. I was so happy back then...because I liked you too. We always spent our time talking and laughing at my apartment. Your mother would always scold me for letting you stay out late. 

 Oh, I got a text.

It's from Kai.

Why do I feel dissapointed? Did I expect that it's from you? You know, all of our conversations are still saved from my phone. I read them all the time. 

After the class was dismissed, I went to go buy grocery for my kitchen. I grabbed a shopping cart, I sighed as I remember how you used to love riding this shopping cart. I'd always facepalm 'cause you're embarrasing but at the same time, I'm happy as I get to see you smile and laugh. Do you still love eating cereals? I used to hate them but I love them now.

I finished doing the grocery so I went home. Another day has passed without you.  I feel so weak right now. I remember that time when I broke your favorite eyeliner and you didn't talk to me for 3 days. I felt devastated so I bought you a dozen of it. You thanked me by seducing me so I grabbed you and we made love. 

Walking in the park at night helps me relieve stress but not really as I remember us walking there together, holding hands and taking pictures. Speaking of pictures, there's this box where I kept everything you gave me. I hid it under my bed. There were tons of love letters, cellphone straps, shirts, caps, pictures, and our endearment ring. 

I sighed as I hugged my pillow where you used to sleep on. I still remember how you smell, how you laugh whenever I show you my derp face, how you cry when we fight, how you kiss me passionately, how you speak, how you breathe, how our fingers are perfectly fit together, and especially how you used to stay beside me.

I hugged myself as I remember the way I hold you in my arms. I'd always caress your hair. When I'm cleaning, you'd always sneak up and jump at my back. You'd tease me about my gigantic ears, on how I can't actually dance well, or even sing that much as you do. I'd always rest my head on your shoulder when you sing for me my favorite song. Do you remember how I always sing you that 'Love Song'? I still listen to it everynight before I go to sleep. I always pray that you'll be back for me. 

We promised each other to not give this relationship up, right? Do you still remember that promise? That if one of us wants to give up, the other one will wait? I'm still clinging onto that promise.

Do you know where I was hurt by you the most? When you promised me that you'll be with me forever, I held a lot of expectations to that. You broke it, you broke my trust but I gave you another chance. I trusted you so many times. I loved you so much where I almost committed suicide. I wanted to end my life because you are no longer with me. You weren't mine anymore. 

All I can do is deny the fact that you're gone now. Reality sucks, I know. But atleast let me dream of you, in a way, I could be with you. I'm full of regrets, you know? You were my life, my world, and my everything. Why leave? 

I feel betrayed until now.

You promised that it was only me who you will love forever. In my eyes, you were the sun of my life. My world revolves around you. 

I remember the time when we fought for a week, I was about to give up but I said to myself that I love you and this is just a challenge. Our relationship was like a rainbow but then it became colorless, for you. You started to stay away from me. Whenever I approached you, you avoided me. When I visited you at your house, your mother would always say you're not home but I saw you at your window peaking but I pretended I didn't saw you and walked away. Your coldness treatment lasted for 6 months until the day you said goodbye. 

It was raining that night. We were at my apartment. You decided to talk to me and I was expecting that we'll be okay but I was mistaken. I thought the first word you'd say to me was something like 'I love you' but you said 'Let's stop this'. I felt like dying that time, I wanted to cry but I decided to stay calm and ask you why. That's when you said you were seeing someone else. That's when my world broke into a million pieces. We were together for 5 years, why end it? Was I not enough for you? 

 I felt a tear fell from my eye right now as I remember all those things happened. 

Y'know, I hate this feeling.

It hurts so much.

My memories of you, I don't know how to get rid of them.

Just where did I go wrong? Do you know how much I suffered because of you?  I gave you my everything just to make you happy.  Then in just a blink of an eye, you were gone. You left me. For her.

I miss you so much, Baek.

Please come back.