Infatuation//Camren

Chapter 18

I'd spent the last six weeks at Jo's house. She hadn't said a word, and I was grateful. I think she liked the company. We'd grown really close over this time.

We painted for hours every day, then we went out for coffee at tiny artsy coffee shops. Jo sold my paintings at auctions. I kept painting. I'd found my place, I'd found what made me happy.

Lauren texted me for days, saying she was sorry and that she wanted to see me. I missed her so much. I felt a little lost without her.

It was midnight when Lauren called me. I answered, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
"Hey," I said quietly

"Can you come over?" Lauren asked straight away.

"Are you okay?" I asked, worried. Something in Lauren's voice told me she wasn't. Something was wrong

"No." Lauren managed before she sobbed out loud.

"I'll be there in five minutes," I said quickly, ripping my covers off and running out of Jo's apartment.

I smashed the button of the elevator, mentally begging it to go faster. Something was really wrong with Lauren.
I was scared. I opened the apartment door and walked in.

I saw Lauren sitting with her chin resting on her knees, her eyes wide. There was an empty bottle of red laying on the floor. Cigarette butts littered the coffee table. The entire apartment was a mess.
"Lauren," I whispered. Her eyes were rimmed with black circles. Her hair was tangled and disheveled. She looked a mess. "What's wrong? What's happened?" I asked, worried. I sat down next to her.
I felt a small wave of awkwardness between us, but ignored it and wrapped my arms around her. It felt nice to be next to her again

"Camz, he's gone," Lauren mumbled with tears in her eyes.

"Who?" I asked.

"M-my brother." She whispered.

My jaw dropped. "Oh my god. What happened?" I asked.
"He was crossing the road and a car hit him and he died and I wasn't there watching him and it's my fault." Lauren's words poured from her before tears replaced the words.

"Lolo. Look at me," I grabbed her chin and made her eyes meet mine. "This is not your fault," I said.

Lauren cried and I held her. I wrapped my arms around her and she hugged me back. Her face was in the crook of my neck.
"When did it happen?" I asked gently.
"He died a few hours ago. In hospital with Mom and Dad." Lauren said.
"Do you know when the funeral is?" I asked.
"Sometime next week I think." Lauren said.

"I'm sorry, Lo. This is terrible." I said.

I'd met Lauren's brother a few years ago, he was younger then. I could see that Lauren was protective of Chris. And I could see Chris looked up to Lauren.

I'm sorry for kissing Lucy." Lauren said quietly suddenly.

"I forgive you," I whispered.

"I miss you. Please come back. I need you." Lauren begged.

I nodded. I'll sleep here tonight." I agreed.

"Thank you," Lauren mumbled against my skin.
Lauren laid with her head in my lap. The apartment was dark and quiet. I listened to our breathing.

"He's gone. Gone. I'll never see my little brother again." Lauren whispered through tears.

"I'm so sorry, Lauren. I know you loved him." I said quietly.
"I was supposed to look after him. I was his older sister. I was supposed to protect him." Lauren sobbed.
"You can't blame yourself for this. This isn't your fault." I said.

"Yes, it is," Lauren whispered, her voice cracking with tears.

"I've been lost without you," Lauren admitted quietly, looking up at me with her head in my lap.

"Me too," I said.

"I'm sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen. I was drunk and you had left and she was there. I hated myself for ages after. I missed you so much. I love you." Lauren said.

"I love you too," I said quietly.

"Do you want to go to bed?" She asked quietly, her eyes meeting mine.

We walked together to the bedroom and crawled into bed together. I wrapped my arms around Lauren and tried to comfort her as best I could.

I could tell Lauren was tired and hadn't slept in days. The entire apartment was disheveled and messy. She had been lost without me.
"It's going to be okay. I promise." I said quietly. I kissed her cheek gingerly.

Lauren's eyes opened slowly and she slowly turned around to face me. She kissed my lips and everything felt right again - everything felt simple like it used to be. She held my hands in hers and deepened the kiss.

"I love you," Lauren said before we both fell asleep next to each other.

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A/N: I'm backkk, now I have more free time. 

-C