Unbearable

Hi everyone! This is another one shot from yours truly.

This just sort of happened. The idea just struck me and I know that I need to get it out of my head. :)

I hope you'll like it.

Warning: It might be a little cheesy towards the end, if you guys think it's too much... please don't hate me...

This story was not proofread, so if you see any grammatical error, I apologize. :)

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Has it been a week already? No, not yet, it's just 6 days and 19hours?... give or take...

Beam sighed loudly at the path his thought was going.

Again.

Well, at least that was his computation... since that night happened. Since something happened between him and Forth.

Ever since then Forth has never left his side. Beam's trying to escape from him at this very moment. He's inside his car but again his thoughts wander even before he can insert his key.

Forth, for the past few days, he was always with him, making time for him, and patiently waiting against all his mood swings, his rudeness, his coldness. His loud foul mouth, his rejection.

It makes him hate himself more. But what else can he do?

He can't escape the fact that's running through his head.

He forced himself to Forth, one of the few trusted friends of his.

What the hell was he thinking? Obviously he was not, but was he that desperate? Is he a slut?

Fortunately, it was with Forth that he did it with or else he might be in deeper shit than he is now... Or was it quite unfortunate? A side of his head whispers. Because he knew that if he did it with anybody else, he won't be crazy like this. It will feel like nothing happened. Everything will be back as it is come morning.

Beam tightly shut his eyes.

And what now? What happens next?

Forth wanted to take responsibility.

"Fuck that!" he cursed loudly as he remembers their conversation the morning after. "I'm not even a girl!" He murmurs to himself.

'From now on Forth will chase Beam!'

That was Forth's words.

Beam knew that from that moment he already felt something for Forth. But he shouldn't, Forth doesn't have real feeling for him. He was just being his usual self. A gentleman. He only thought of being responsible to Beam because he is his first man. Nothing more...

Beam knew immediately that he has feelings for Forth, since that morning. That is the truth.

But like the coward that he was, he ran away.

It's what he do best.

It was like when he felt possessive with Kit having a boyfriend, look what he's done? He messed with Nong'Ming and told him Kit was his boyfriend. He hurt others just so he can keep himself and those he love inside his own perfect world.

He was a selfish coward who can't be honest with his feelings.

But why with all his selfishness, he can't bring himself to be selfish this one time?

No, not to him. He deserve better. "He deserve someone better than me." Beam whispers to himself. "It was a mistake for both of us."

He clenches his fist at the steering wheel of his car as he felt pain. His chest constricts, like a hand slowly squeezed his heart, making him unable to breathe. He knew what he should do now. He must tell Forth about his decision. No excuses, he must say it today, no more dilly-dallying. He should let him go now while he can, he must save his own heart.