The Ace of Hearts

If I Need a Pick Me Up

Sinbad knocks softly on the door, half expecting Judal to scream back for him to "go the fuck away". But when the only response is quiet sobbing, Sinbad realizes it's time for him to step in.

There's a spare key under the welcome mat, and so he lifts it up and takes it, quietly slipping it into the keyhole and walking inside.

Sinbad's mouth falls slightly as he notices Judal shivering on the couch, crying into the palms of his hands. The lights are off, and the blinds are shut, and Sinbad realizes that Judal has gone into full on seclusion. He places the six pack he brought with him onto the floor, taking off his shoes and closing the door. "Judal?"

The youth begins to stifle his sobbing, turning the smallest bit to the sound of Sinbad's voice. "What do you want?" He croaks, and Sinbad can feel his heart shattering at the sound.

"I brought drinks," he said softly, and though under normal circumstances the remark would've been playful, somehow Sinbad had made it sound heartfelt and caring. Judal wiped his nose with his sleeve, whispering a word of thanks under his breath, and Sinbad took the opportunity to approach him and take a seat by his side.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

The youth shook his head, and Sinbad smiled sadly, because somehow, even when Judal was broken, he was still cute.

"Do you want a beer?"

Judal gave a faint nod after a moment, and Sinbad rose from the couch to grab him one. He returned shortly after with two drinks in hand, handing one to the tentative man beside him.

"Is this your first time drinking?"

"Yeah."

Sinbad nodded to himself in understanding, reminiscing about his own first time with alcohol, before reaching over to touch Judal's shoulder as he opened his can, gulping down its contents in seconds. He grimaced as he pulled the container away, and Sinbad let out a light chuckle. "Not a big fan?"

"It tastes...weird."

"Do you not like it?"

"I don't hate it."

The youth then took another drink from the can, and Sinbad decided it was as good a time as any to join in on the fun, opening his own with a click.

"She was amazing..." Judal whispered suddenly, and Sinbad bit his lip in envy as he noticed the starstruck look in Judal's eyes. "She was the best thing that ever happened to me..."

"So why did she leave?"

"Because I didn't want to have sex with her."

Sinbad stared quietly as Judal let out a sigh. "I should've just done it..."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because it makes me really uncomfortable."

"Well, then you did the right thing."

Judal looked at Sinbad, eyebrows furrowed.

"If she couldn't accept you, then she wasn't right for you–"

"Who the hell are you to say that?!"

Sinbad froze as tears began to form at Judal's eyes again, and to say that his heart had cracked at the sight was an understatement. Sinbad reached over, gently whispering Judal's name as he did— but only to have his hand smacked away midway towards his face. "She was the best thing that ever happened to me!"

"But Judal–"

"No! Fuck you!" Judal screamed. "She was incredible. She actually loved me–!"

"Well she clearly didn't love you enough to stay!"

The room went quiet at Sinbad's outburst, and as the man withdrew from his aggressive stance, Judal truly broke down. Tears began to stain the floor, and what had once been quiet gasping was now the sound of sobbing almost mournful. And Sinbad finally understood that perhaps Judal had already been aware that what he had said was true, and the man's own heart continued to break as he looked at what he had done to the youth in front of him.

"You're right," Judal cried miserably between sobs. "But...but she..." Though the thought went unfinished as Judal continued to cry, weeping in despair and hurting because the person he had trusted– the person who he had broken his walls down for had left him. And that was truly what hurt the most.

But suddenly, the youth felt a warmth reach his cheeks, as calloused fingers began to wipe away whatever tears they could, and the sound of Sinbad gently cooing his name could be heard. The youth looked into the man's eyes, taking in the sight of a warm amber hue shining in the darkness of his unlit apartment. And somehow it was enough to make him melt, how someone could be so thoughtful and even care about him, even when he looked so weak and pathetic. Sinbad cupped his hands around Judal's cheeks, looking straight into his eyes.

"I know it hurts," he whispered, and Judal held back his sobs as Sinbad pulled him into his chest.