Between The Vows

Chapter Four

"82.6," Dr. Lawrence said as Ellie stepped off the scale. She jumped back up onto the exam table and folded her hands in her lap, swinging her feet back and forth. "You know what that means Miss James."

"But I didn't lose any weight." She challenged Dr. Lawrence at every appointment. The doctor wanted her to gain twenty pounds but that was far from reality in Ellie's eyes. So, they settled on five. Baby steps. "I'm maintaining. That should count for something, right?"

Dr. Lawrence ignored Ellie and lifted her shirt. Ellie was pure skin and bones. Her ribcage protruded, emphasizing the hollowness of her belly. You could literally count her ribs. I couldn't help but look away, "How do you like the nutritionist I referred you to?"

"I'm not sure." Ellie shrugged. "I haven't met her yet."

Dr. Lawrence took a deep breath and let it out. "We have discussed this so many times, Ellie. I know you met with the psychiatrist, Dr. Barnett, have you made any follow up appointments?"

"No," Ellie replied. "that's just a waste of time."

"Ellie, this isn't something we can just turn away from. We need to get you healthy and strong and that is only going to happen if you cooperate. We all want you to get better, ok?"

Ellie sighed. "Okay." She hopped off the exam table and headed out the door to check out. I was beginning to think we were going to have a break-through.

Dr. Lawrence had a close relationship with Ellie. We met her at an outpatient treatment center two years back. We were seeing another doctor at the time who Ellie claimed did not have an empathetic bone in his body, so she refused to listen to him. After a few months of ignoring Dr. Lawrence's questions, they had finally started to develop a friendship. Dr. Lawrence cared for Ellie in a way that no other doctor had. She had grown up with the same struggle Ellie was facing, so she could relate on her level. I was thankful for Dr. Lawrence and as much as Ellie continued to fight her, I know she was too.

"I'm sorry," I said to Dr. Lawrence as I always did. "I've been cooking meals and bringing them to the house. But I come back the next week and they are unopened."

"Don't give up, keep making them." Dr. Lawrence said. "And try to get her to see Dr. Barnett. I'm telling you, Nora, psychological counseling is paramount." She patted me on the back and headed out the door.

"I left meals in the fridge," I announced to Ellie as we got into my car. She was scrolling through her phone, trying her best to not pay attention to me.

I grabbed the phone out of her hand and she squealed. "I'm serious, Elizabeth. If you just eat the damn food I will leave you alone." I tossed the phone in my backseat and she climbed over the seat to retrieve it.

"You're not my mother, Eleanor. I already have one of those." She mocked me for using her full name. I gripped the steering wheel, trying not to bark back at her. Out of respect to our mother, I did not respond to her words. She was right, we did have a mother. One that was too involved in her own life to notice one of her daughters was practically dying right in front of her eyes. I blinked back tears and kept my eyes on the road.

"I'm sorry, Ellie. I just want the best for you." I said a few minutes later. I reached out and put my hand on her thigh and squeezed.

"I know you do." She mumbled back. Ellie wasn't much for showing affection, but I took that response as a small victory.

I went inside to heat up a meal I had in the fridge for her. She sat at the kitchen table and ate what was on her plate. Maybe she did want to get better and it was all in my head.