House on the Hill.

Chapter 29 Facing my Demons

As I progressed through my teens the abuse and the troubles I got into were taking over my life. I was just 15 years old and the beatings from my father were still relentless. I was looking for a way out, and the only way I could cope with all my demons was drinking alcohol which seemed to kill the emotional pain I was going through at the time.
Things came to a head and I remember the day very well. It was a Friday morning and my last day at school before the summer holidays. I got up late as usual for school, which didn't go down too well with my father. He had been drinking the night before and he was still the worse for wear.
He shouted up from the bottom of the stairs in his loud voice, "Ian, get up now, you are late for school." I just ignored him, thinking my mum would come up and get me out of bed, not knowing my mum was at the corner shop buying some milk for our breakfast. I could hear someone coming up the stairs. I thought it was my mum but I had a shock when I saw my dad. I could see he was angry by just looking at his face. It was distorted and I knew then I was going to get a good hiding again. He grabbed me by the hair and dragged me out of the bed and he just laid in to me. I was screaming at the top of my voice telling him I was sorry and not to hit me but he kept punching me all over my body. I could feel the blood pouring down my face from my nose. I was in complete agony and I just lay on the floor cringing and in a ball trying to cover and protect my face. He stopped after a few minutes which seemed like an eternity. Then he just walked away without saying a word to me. There was nobody in the house as my brothers and sister had already left for school.
I went in to the toilet and looked in the mirror and my face was covered in blood I just burst out crying I was shaking and I didn't realise I had soiled my pyjamas which stank. I was worried my dad would come back up and give me another beating. I sat down naked in the toilet and locked the door. I was too afraid to come out and face my dad. It would be nearly 15 minutes before I heard my mum's voice. She just came upstairs and tried to open the door. I let her in and she just looked at me in shock. She held me in her arms and started to cry which made me worse. I told her what happened and she just shouted down stairs at my dad that he was a monster and should be locked up.
This made me wet myself as I was scared he would take it out on her but my dad never responded, to my relief. My mum told me I wouldn't be going to school which was a relief as my face looked a mess and she didn't want the school asking any questions in case they informed the authorities. She hugged me and said one day you will stand up to your dad and give him a good hiding and he will never touch you or me again. That very prophecy would come true and it would be the biggest shock of his life. My mum quickly cleaned me up and told me to stay in my room for a bit and to keep out of my dad's way until he calmed down. I cried for over an hour I just wanted the abuse to stop it was a nightmare that I thought would never end. I couldn't tell anyone what was going on in case my dad found out and I was worried he would take it out on my mum so I kept quiet about it. Only my close circle of friends knew what was going on and I told them to keep it a secret.
After I calmed down I decided I was going for a drink. I knew I had no money and that I would have to sneak out of the box-room window to get out. I quickly got dressed and I deliberately put my long black thick coat on knowing too well I would have to steal a bottle of cider as I had no money. It would be easy to conceal it with the coat I would be wearing.
I crept out my room and looked over the banister to see if I could hear my mum and dad but it was all quiet so I sneaked into the box-room, opened the window and jumped onto the ledge and then jumped onto the path. I then ran like the bat from hell up Derwent Road.
I headed to Jack's shop on Plodder Lane where a few of my school friends and I used to help ourselves to a few things on my way to school. It wasn't difficult to steal anything as Jack was in his late sixties and was very trusting. He was actually, a nice bloke. He had whitish hair and was thin as a rake and was very small which made it easy to nick anything I wanted.
I arrived at Jack's shop which was on the corner of Plodder Lane and facing Our Lady of Lourdes School which was the infant and junior school I used to go to. I just walked straight in and I saw Jack. He was busy serving a few customers. This gave me ample opportunity to head straight for the alcohol. I had a quick look to make sure nobody was watching me and I took the first bottle which was whisky. I quickly put in under my coat and headed straight for the door. I had a quick look to see if Jack was looking but he was still busy serving the customers. I made my way to what we called the Dell. It was a playing field just of Highfield Road. I knew it well as I used to hide there when I used to skip school and church mass. It was also away from prying eyes as I knew not many people would be there.
It was quite warm so I lay on the grass and I just started drinking out of the bottle. It was the first time I had tasted whisky. It was disgusting but I carried on drinking it. I started to feel unwell. I felt dizzy and I started to vomit. I didn't realise that the whisky was a very strong drink.
I started to walk and make my way to Highfield Road. I climbed up the grass banking and started to walk down Highfield Road. I had the intention of going home and sneaking back in to sleep it off. I could feel myself going and the next thing I remember was being waken up in hospital with a couple of nurses putting a tube down my throat and pumping some stuff in the tube which made me vomit into a bucket. This went on for several minutes. It was a terrible experience which I would never forget. I felt so ill I couldn't walk, so they put me in a wheelchair and pushed me into a ward. Then they put me in a bed. It would be a matter of hours before I woke up and I remembered my mum holding my hand crying and saying to me why are you trying to kill yourself? I remember asking my mum where was I and what happened?
She replied, "You are in Bolton Royal hospital and you have just had your stomach pumped." A lady rang an ambulance because they found you on the side of the road unconscious. I just looked at her face and she was heartbroken. She thought I was going to die. She made me promise that I would stop drinking because it would kill me in the end. I had to admit I was frightened, and I knew I was heading towards a point of no return. I held my mum's hand. I cried so much. I told her I was fed up of being beaten by my father and the drink was the only thing that soothed my pain. She leaned over to me and held me in her arms and we cried together. She kept saying to me that she promised the abuse would come to an end and that if it happened again she would get my dad arrested and put away in prison where he belonged.
Of course, the abuse didn't stop and it would carry on for a little longer. I stayed in for another night and in the morning my mum picked me up from the hospital and took me home. My dad was fine with me for a short while but it didn't last long. As for the whisky I never touched it again; even the smell of it makes me feel sick.
The experience would always stay with me and of course I still got drunk but that wasn't difficult as I couldn't drink like most people. That's where the saying light-weight comes from.