I have been having nightmares for the past five months and twenty three days. Yes, I keep count. Although, the nightmares are not exactly all the same they all still feature him. He has been the shadow that follows me in all my nightmares. I really wish I had an off switch for my nightmares. It would be nice to turn them off and get a good, whole night's sleep. It's not like not having the nightmares will change anything but at least I won't get to see his face every time I close my eyes.
My solution to the nightmares is simple: make my body so tired and weary that the moment i hit my bed I'm fast asleep.This way my exhausted body and mind can barely function let alone dream or create nightmares. It helps sometimes, but it gets very tiring.
I keep hoping that the nightmares would go away, but I know deep down that if i want them to go away I'd have to face the past. I would have to face what happened. But facing my past means accepting that my mom is dead. And accepting that means that she is never coming back. . . and that it is all my fault.
Dad says I should give in to my emotions and feelings. He says I shouldn't keep all my emotions locked up. That I should open up more to people. The idea of even opening up in front of people is terrifying. What if I completely break down, will I be able to stop? Besides, school is starting soon and what the people here don't know about me won't hurt them. . . and me. I don't want people looking at me with pity in their eyes. I don't want their pity or sympathy.
I do not even know why I'm thinking about all of this right now? Oh wait, yeah. I do know why, it's because I'm trying not to sleep. As I look at the clock on my table, I see that it is well past midnight. I get up to go to the toilet, but I have to sit down again as my tiredness and lack of sleep catches up to me. Although I know that I'll be tired in the morning, I don't care how late I sleep as long as the nightmares stay away. Besides coffee can do the rest of the work in keeping me awake.
YOU ARE READING
Sleep No More
Teen FictionHarley Carson moves to a new town with her father to start afresh. With her past shadowing her life, will she ever break free? And will the wannabe bad boy nextdoor help her or will he succumb to his own troubles?
