Krisis Kontrol

I Think We're Alone Now

You bolt upright out of your bed gasping for air, flicking your eyes across the room to make sure no one’s there. Embarrassment washes over you; you were moaning so loudly that it jerked you from your dream. You touch your hand to your forehead and look down at your fingers: you’re drenched in sweat. That heat in your core is still burning even after sleeping for...you look over at your alarm clock: a solid eight hours. You blow out an exasperated sigh and push the covers off of yourself.

Your phone starts buzzing loudly on the table and you nearly fall off the edge of the bed. You reach over and grab it: it’s Katya. You answer and press it to your ear while it’s still vibrating.

“Hello?”

“Hello, this is Deborah calling from the Satanist department of ChristianMingle, do you have time to talk about our lord and saviour Kellyanne Conway?” He pipes up cheerfully in a soft, feminine voice.

You giggle at him, “Hi, Kat’. Are you on your way already?”

“I figured I would give you a half hour heads up, your house probably looks like one of those dream homes on Hoarders” You hear him sigh dreamily on the other end.

“Well I appreciate the thought but fuck you.” Your voice is playful and you’re smiling like an idiot, hanging on his every word.

“Ha-ha, you said ‘butt fuck’.” He chimes at you; you snicker at him while pulling yourself off the bed with a grunt. “Are you moaning at me? Is this phone sex? It’s going to cost you.”

Your face flushes bright red and a lump lodges in the back of your throat thinking about your dreams. “No.” You try to say coolly but fail miserably. “Listen, Brenda, I need to drag this body out to the curb in time for the garbage trucks, okay? I have to go, he’s starting to smell.”

“So first you turn down phone sex and now you’re cheating on me? That’s real low.”

You start pulling your sweaty sheets off of your bed with your phone sandwiched between your ear and shoulder, “That’s just how I roll, you’re going to have to start impressing me before I settle down. I’m quite the player.”

“Be careful what you wish for.” He mutters, you don’t quite catch what he said.

“What?”

“What? Okay, bye, Barbara. I’ll be there in a half hour.” The line goes dead before you can say anything else. You pull the phone away from your ear and look at the black screen. Setting your phone on the dresser you lug your sheets to your washing machine, you fill it the rest of the way with dirty clothes littering your bedroom floor and then peel off your shirt and underwear.

You rip through your house to make it somewhat presentable; thankfully you keep your sewing room in great shape so you leave it as it is. You quickly shower and brush your teeth three times: you were always self-conscious about your breath when standing close to clients as you took their measurements. You clean your skin with a touch of makeup and toy with your hair. You’re pulling on a baggy t-shirt and a pair of black jeans when a loud buzz comes from the intercom.

You press the button to speak: “Yes?”

His voice crackles over the speaker: “I’m coming for you, Barbara.”

You smile widely and open the door for him. Rushing to the bathroom you take one last look in the mirror and fluff your hair again. There are footsteps coming down the hallway before his fingernails are drumming rhythmically against the door. You turn the handle and give a sweet smile. He’s dressed in a pink Trixie Mattel t-shirt with biking shorts.

“That was quick, I’m glad you found parking for your broom.”

“Yeah I parked it beside your dad’s truck, did you know he has a vanity plate that says ‘Small Dick’?” He slides past you, the smell of fresh cigarette smoke wafts into your face and it makes you crave one; you had given up the habit quite some time ago but addiction never truly goes away. You shut the door again. He peeks around at your apartment while sliding his shoes off and pushing them with his foot to sit next to yours. “No stench of cat piss? You look like a cat lady to me, I was half-expecting it to smell like Boston in here but you let me down.”