The Narrator

28 - I'm A Party Animal

{For @MatthewKott, who seems like a party animal. We are now best friends.}

Journal Entry

January 7th, 9:32 AM

Trying to focus and write with a hangover is absolute hell.

It's better now than when I woke up on that bus.

I assume I took myself up on the offer of an all-night ride because I woke up in some completely new place and had to get, like, twenty transfers before I found my way to school.

Must've been a wicked party. I don't remember a thing.

No, wait. I remember loud noise and... cards?

Hmm... Being drunk is pretty good. Helps me forget about more than just what I'm doing.

Can't say I like the after effects, though.

I assume lots of kids from school were there. People have been giving me looks all day. I guess I was a bit of a party crasher... Some people have been laughing.

I wish I knew what I did at that party... Must've been awesome.

I stumbled out of the bathroom in less of a daze than when I walked in. I had splashed water on my face and felt a little less lifeless than before.

I walked down the hall, looking for a friendly face. If the people in the hall weren't ignoring me, they were watching and whispering about me. Their thoughts told me nothing about the party.

Come on, come on, come on!

I liked the wrong post!

These pictures are so funny!

Ha, memes.

I also couldn't really focus due to my headache and increasing drowsiness. So, I may have actually made up those thoughts. I wasn't sure. The one about memes sounded like me.

Suddenly, I spotted Becky heading towards the library.

"Hey! Becky!" I raced after her, ignoring the couple of looks I got as I pushed past people. I also ignored the horrible pain I got when I moved faster than necessary. Okay, when I moved, period.

"Hey, Travis..." She played with the tips of her hair between her fingers. I could tell she wasn't entirely comfortable with me.

"Were you at Leo's party?" I lowered my voice as we entered the library. I'd only been in here a couple of times. I barely knew my way around. Becky seemed to know exactly where she was going, though. She veered around tables and bookshelves to a section of computers. She sat in front of one and began logging on. I pulled up a chair and sat next to her.

She scoffed with a smile. "No, but I saw those pictures. To be honest, I totally pegged you as that kind of guy."

This was news to me. Pictures? "Huh? What pictures?"

She smirked. "What? You want me to call you out on all the 'awesome' things you did?" She put finger quotes around awesome.

I nodded. "Yes please."

She frowned. "Wow. Didn't peg you as vain."

I shook my head quickly. "No, I... See, I can't actually remember any of last night..."

Her eyes widened. "Oh... shit. Uh... Well, I wasn't there but... Are you sure you want to know, then?" She looked apprehensive. It made my heart start beating faster.

"Uh, yeah." I got a look from the librarian for raising my voice. I glared right back. "You... have pictures?" I lowered my voice and turned back to Becky.

"Uhh..." She seemed to be fighting some inner battle about whether she should tell me or not. I nodded encouragement, wondering what the hell I had done to make her think so hard. Becky finally sighed and turned to the computer.

I watched her bring up Google (Take that, Firefox!). She logged into Facebook (Honestly, who still uses Facebook?) and brought up a page.

My jaw dropped.

I pushed Becky aside and began clicking through the photos. The page was titled: Leo Vincent's Eighteenth Birthday Bash and was pretty much just a collection of photos and videos.

I was in almost every photo.

In one photo, I was closer to the back and I was obviously in the process of losing a game of strip poker.

I don't even know how to play regular poker!

I began clicking through the photos more rapidly. Each one had me in an embarrassing position that I had obviously adopted for the camera. I stopped on a video. The volume on the computer was muted (we were in a library, after all) but I didn't need it to know that music was pumping and whoever was holding the phone or camera was getting bumped around. I was about to click to the next item when I saw myself, obviously way past tipsy, stumbling around on the dance floor. I then noticed the camera, apparently, and began screaming at it. I had a huge grin and looked like an overconfident douchebag. I looked to be screaming the word awesome a few hundred thousand times over.

I skipped the video.

Every photo had me in a horrible pose or situation that made not-drunk-me want to die of embarrassment.

At one point, I passed a photo that showed me pressed up in one of those dance moves I hate (the ones where personal space doesn't exist) with two girls.

What?! I was pretty sure I'd never even seen either of them before.

Then I saw the photo of me and some other kids with a joint in hand.

I did have the faintest memory of a huge coughing fit... I thought the smoking thing was part of some dream...

Every photo and video was more embarrassing than the last. Me dancing, me drinking, me on the floor after falling, me in the process of falling, me with a girl, me and a beer, me with a cigarette, me with-

I froze. I stared at the image on the screen.

No... How...? I barely felt Becky's hand on my shoulder. She was obviously trying to reassure me. "Travis, there's nothing to be-"

I shrieked. Right there in the library. I stumbled up from my chair, knocking it over in the process of running to the door.

How could they even have gotten that picture from that angle? They must've been so close. How could I have let them get a picture like that? How could I have done something like that?

I'd never run so far so fast. I could hear Becky calling after me, but I wasn't listening at all. I was too focused on one simple picture, one simple fact.

I had swapped spit- No.

I had made out- No.

I had- No. Please no. Please no. Please no.

I had kissed Leo Vincent.

Worse than that, I'd been caught on camera.