heathers but not really

beautiful

September 1, 1980

Dear diary.....

I believe I'm a good person, you know I think there's good I'm everyone. But here we are first day of senior year!

I look around at all these kids who I grew up with. Some grew up to be crazy pot heads, others to be total nerds like me, and some turned out to be crazily popular.

I ask myself

"What happened."

"FREAK! SLUT! BURNOUT! BUG EYES !POSER !LARD ASS!"

Ahhh just some of the many nicknames we all have for each other.

What happened to us?

We were so tiny, happy, and shiny. Playing tag and getting chased...

Singing and clapping laughing and napping baking cookies eating paste.

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger like the Huns invading Rome.

Welcome to my school
This ain't no high school
This is the Thunder Dome.

Hold your breath and count the days

We're graduating soon.

College will be paradise if I'm not dead by June.

But I know, I know life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray for a better way

If we changed back then... we could change again.

We can be beautiful.

"OW!"

......Just not today.

"Hey are you ok?"

"Get away nerd!!"

"Oh- okay.."
Things will get better soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown

Away from this coma.

Take my diploma.

Then I can blow this town.

Dream of ivy covered walls and smoky French cafes

Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dumb ablaze.

"Oooooooooopssss!"

Meet Ram Sweeney (Daveed). Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge DICK.

"What did you say to me, skank?"

"Aghh nothing."

I know life can be beautiful.
I pray for a better way
We were kind before
We can be kind once more
We can be beautiful

"AHH, oh hey Martha!"

"Hey."

Martha Dunstock (Ant), my best friend since diapers.

"We in for movie night?"

Movie night was one of our favorite nights.

"Yeah! You're on jiffy pop detail."

"I rented The Princess Bride!"

"oooh, again?... wait? Don't you have it memorized by now?"

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending."

"MARTHA DUMPTRUCK! WIDE LOAD! HAHAHAAAA!"

Kurt Kelly (Oak), quarterback.

He is the smartest guy on the football team,

:O

Which is kinda of like being the tallest dwarf.

"Hahaa!!! Alright!!!"

"HEY! Pick that up right now!"

"I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?"

"Yes I am. I want to know what gives you the right to pick on my friend? Your a high school has-been waiting to happen, a future gas station attendant."

"..... you have a zit right there."

"Hahahahahhaa!"

Dear Diary,

Why?

Then there's the Heathers. They float above it all.

Heather McNamara (Jas), head cheerleader her dad is loooooooaded! He sells engagement rings.

Heather Duke (Pip), runs the yearbook. No discernible personality but.... her mom did pay for implants.

And Heather Chandler (Renee), the almighty.

She is a mythic bitch.

I was in the bathroom the same time the Heathers were and Heather Duke was just vomiting up her lunch like usual.

"Grow up Heather Bulimia is so '87." Chandler says

"Maybe you should see a doctor Heather." McNamara adds

"Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should."

Just as I was about to leave Mrs. Fleming walks in.

"Ahh, Heather and Heather....."

Duke runs over to the toilet and throws up again.

"....and Heather. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting? Your late for class."

"Heather wasn't feeling well, were helping her."

"Not without a hall pass you're not. Weeks detention."

This is when I decide to use my amazing forgery skills.

"Um, actually... Mrs. Fleming all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee."

"I see you're all listed.... Hurry up and get where you're going."

Chandler grabs the hall pass out of my hands

"This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?"

This ladies and gentlemen this is where my life changes.

"Uh, Veronica Sawyer. I crave a boon."

"What boon?" Chandler asks

"Um, Let me sit at your table m, at lunch, just once. No talking necessary! If people think that you guys tolerate me then they'll leave me alone.

"Hahahaha..."

"Before you answer I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes."

"What about prescriptions?" Duke asks

"Shut up Heather!!!"

"Sorry Heather...."

"For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.."

"And a symmetrical face..." McNamara says getting closer to my face

"If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important."

I just stare at her blankly.

"Of course you could stand to lose a few pounds." Duke adds

"And you know, you know, you know, this could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss and were one out way. Get this girl some blush, and Heather I need your brush. Let's make her beautiful."

"Let's make her beautiful!"

"Let's make her beautiful!"

"Make her beautiful.... okay?"

"Okay!"
-

"Who's that with Heather!?"

"Woah."

"Heather, Heather, Heather..."

"Veronica?"
-