I love it when you turn me on
It gets me ready for actionI love it when you take my case off
To see how dirty I've becomeI love it when you open your front camera
So I can watch you pose for meI love it when you drop me on the floor
Then run your finger down my newly formed crackI love it when you call your parents
So I can feel your breath running down my microphoneI love it when you stick that charger in my port
And fill me up with that electricityI love it when my screen gets dirty
So you rub me vigorously against your trousersBut I hate it when you replace me