Wildfire

Pilot

I live in a shadow of troubles. I live in a simple three by two abode. I live with a striking sister and a confused father. I live in absolute tangibles of mess and destruction. I live in fear that I would lose this unspoken game. A game who's reputation means depression and utter mocking. A game that I had already fail.

People call me Abigail- the girl with a runaway mother. Usually I would blow up in pieces if I hear cruel words but I never did when they call me that. It was the truth. A painful truth that stabbed me straight through my already swollen heart. I accepted the fact; hurting myself in the process but I just wanted him to be happy. My father, my openly gay father, whose marriage, went into millions of shards that scattered into my life. That night was horrible. Almost unbearable.

It was seven degrees of cold on a night in the middle of July. I was in my white bedroom trying to finish my assignment on The Renaissance before the weekend came sweeping through. The hurried screams and slaps in the living room was a huge distraction. Sighing, I dropped my black pen on my small desk. Fighting was all my parents did these past few days. The economy was rising and my father had recently lost his job as a retail manager to a snobby rich man. We had no choice but to depend on Mum's low income from working in a nursing home. She had blamed him for not standing his guard when the taxes came billowing like the wind. Mum had loudly declared that she absolutely hated wiping people's arses to scrape through a week's dinner for a family of four. She was sick and tired of being depended upon as my father had destroyed her dreams; he urged her to marry him at the age of twenty-two. Mum had a dream, an inspiration even. But as a young woman, Mum had readily accepted the proposal.

The next few weeks that followed, Dad was rarely at home and Mum was busy at St Andrew's working double shifts. Rachel and I were left alone to fend for ourselves. We had to cook, clean and do extra revision as exams were around the corner. The amount of housework involved had cut out the amount of time we had to actually study. Then Rachel too ducked out just like my parents.

"Nah I'm sorry Gail, Jess had invited me over this week so we can study for our finals." Those were the usual remarks Rachel made whenever I asked her what's for dinner. At troubled times; I would just have a stale piece of bread and a small bowl of soup which tasted like vomit. I constantly reminded myself that by doing so, I'd help my parents in saving up. It was a sick psycho pattern which I still abide to. It had not made my body well though. I look frail and tired with my bones wanting to jut out of my skin. But I simply refuse to eat up or cook a scrumptious meal. I'd only eat at night and skip my breakfast and lunch. I thought the nightmare would soon be over and my parents would patch up.

Fate was a cruel thing. The separation of our whole family and the unforgiving fights only ripped me further; my parents had the rock. If one of them chose to throw it away, it'd destroy my hopes of a reunited family. I was afraid. I had nobody to confide into. I resembled a stick and I could do nothing about it. It made me feel useless and I resorted to bad decisions. The sharp razor blade was supposed to take away all of my pain but it only added more to my ongoing list. No matter how much it seared and coursed through me, the sight of an open wound and of my blood comforted me. I saw it as a representation. The wound; no matter how painful it was, it closed up sooner or later. And the blood reminded me that I was bound to this family, that I have my father's stubbornness and my mother's hardworking ethics. It was sick, painful and comforting. I had finally found a way to drown out the pain and the building up anger of a broken family.

I knew it would happen sooner or later. Dad threw the rock far and wide into the gushing sea. One statement which changed my life, Rachel's too.

"Julia, I'm gay." I still remembered it all too clearly and my father's painful expression as he confessed. He added more coal to the fire. "You can leave and start a new with someone more deserving of your hardwork. I deserve nothing Julia. Please leave. Take the kids if you want to, I don't mind."