17 Reasons Why I Hate You || Hansol Vernon Chwe

Reason #17

I once watched an anime called Ouran High School Host Club.Before it became an anime it was a manga and there is this one scene that happened in the manga but not in the anime.

Haruhi,the protagonist of the story dreamt about confessing to Tamaki,the president of the host club and the most loved one.When she said the words "I love you" he said "me too".Now you would expect that he meant that he also loves her.But what he actually meant was he loved himself too.

Now you're probably wondering.What this has to do with anything.

I actually had the same dream.

I actually just woke up from the dream right now.When you are reading this I had the dream yesterday.

In the dream,I was Haruhi and you were Tamaki.Just like Haruhi I said I love you and you also said that you love yourself too.

While I'm writing this I'm actually crying.

I keep asking myself why I'm crying.Its not like it happened or anything.And that is when I realized.

I was crying because I felt sad and afraid.

I was sad because I know that you might probably say the same thing if I ever did that in real life.

And I'm afraid because it did not happen which means there is a chance that it could happen in the future.

I'm afraid that I will rely on false hope.

I'm afraid that maybe when you say "me too" you actually mean "I love myself too"

I'm afraid that you will reject me.

But I asked myself.Why am I afraid? Its not like I'm really going to confess to you.I hate you,right?

And suddenly my mind gave up.It gave up its negative thoughts towards you and finally agreed with my heart.

They finally agreed that Haeun and Joshua were right.

The Seventeenth and last reason is...

17.The fact that you made me fall in love with you

The reason why I hate your smile is because it made my heart melt.

The reason why I hate the fact that you can make me smile is because it made me like you even more.

The reason why I hate the fact that you want to be friends with me is because being friends with you means that we will become close and there is a possibility that I would fall for you.

The reason why I hate the fact that you're positive is because you make me feel happy even though deep inside I'm depressed.

The reason why I hate your jokes is because despite them being corny you make me laugh.

The reason why I hate your eyes is because every time I look at them I feel like I could get lost at them.

The reason why I hate your face is because they get stuck on my mind.

The reason why I hate the fact that you're popular is because I feel like I don't deserve to be close with you because you are popular and I'm a nobody.

The reason why I hate your laugh is because your laugh can lift up the negative feeling in the atmosphere.

The reason why I hate the fact that I consider you as my best friend is because I still can't believe I fell for my best friend.

The reason why I hate the fact that you're my bias is because I used to think that you are just my bias nothing more nothing less.But here you are making me fall for you so hard.

The reason why I hate the fact that you are talented is because that is one of your traits that make me fall harder for you.

The reason why I hate the fact you love your family so much is because I'm jealous of you.And it is also one thing that made me love you more.

The reason why I hate your personality is because it is the reason why I love you even more.

The reason why I hate the fact that I can't get you out of my head is because it is making me know that I indeed love you.

And the reason why I hate the fact that you can make my heart beat faster is because that is the sign that I have indeed fallen for you.

I fell for you so hard.

I fell for your personality,your eyes,your laugh.Basically everything about you.

It made me fall so hard for you.

And I'm dumb for not realizing it.

I'm dumb for not listening to what Haeun and Joshua said to me.

Now that I look back at the pages I realize that everything I wrote that were suppose to be the reasons that I hate you actually shows the reasons why I love you.

I don't hate you.

I fucking love you,Hansol Vernon Chwe

And I hate the fact that no matter how hard I try to hate you I'll always end up loving you.