Grim's Helper

Grim's Helper (Short Story)

Grim looks around at paintings on Ominous's wall, in his chambers. He was the kind of reaper who enjoyed being nosy, and knowing everything he could about his boss. Katie, his long-time reaper girlfriend, was quite the opposite. She had zero intentions of knowing more than she should, about her uptight asshole of a boss. She found him to be quite rude, obnoxious, and micromanaging, which irritated her even further.

Katie massaging Grim's shoulders behind him, "So when is our dickhead of a boss, supposed to show up? I'm hungry, I need coffee, and I haven't had sex in, like, two whole days!"
Grim holding Katie's hand, "If he said he'd be here, then we just need to practice a little more patience with him, okay? Besides, its not his fault he's an asshole. He's going on his six-hundreth divorce, to the same woman. I'd be just a bit fucking irritated, too."
Ominous appearing in front of Katie, startling her and Grim.
"Jesus Christ, Ominous!," Katie shouts at him.
"The front door was locked, so I decided to just vaporize in front of you guys.," he replied.
"How are you doing, boss?," Grim asks.
"After six-hundred divorces to the same woman, you'd think I'd learn my lesson, you know?," Ominous states while laughing about it.
"You'd think after the first divorcee, you would just leave her the fuck alone.," Katie chimes in.
"Someone didn't have their bowl of happiness today! Sheesh!," Ominous replies.
"Who're we collecting today, boss?," Grim asks, trying his best to just change the goddamned subject.
"An old lady who's time has come, my dear Grim" he replies with a smile on his face.
"Why are you smiling about it? It's kinda fucking creepy, boss!," Grim states, as he shudders at the thought of Ominous liking the idea, of an old lady passing away.
"That is none of your goddamned business, Grim. What is your business, is finding her, collecting her soul, and bringing it back to me, so I can devour it.," Ominous snaps at Grim.
Katie takes Grim and walks away, both annoyed at their boss. They often wondered how he got to be the overseer, of the vast Underworld. It's not like anyone else wasn't qualified for the position. Ominous knew the Higher Ups of the Underworld, and schmoozed with them quite often. Taking them out to lavish parties, buying them expensive gifts, just being there, doing their bidding, no matter how ridiculous the request was. You had to give it to Ominous, really! They put him through literal HELL, in order to RUN Hell, if you know what I mean.
Back in their bedroom, Katie and Grim were getting ready to travel in the Thunder Cloud. It was a device that helped them teleport across time and space, with ease. The main reason Grim liked it so much, is because it had a coffee bar in it. You could literally order any kind of coffee in it, while traveling. Katie liked it for the aesthetically pleasing atmosphere it had. She had meaningful conversations with some of her favorite people as well. Plato, Socrates, William Shakespeare, Billy the Kid, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and even The Beatles, all conversed with her at the coffee bar.
"Katie, how have you been?," Plato asked while drinking a pint of mead.
"I'm okay, Plato. Just wanting this job to be done, so that Grim and I can go on vacation.," Katie replied.
"Oh. Where is it you're headed to, might I ask?," Plato loves prying into other's business. Then again, he always had.
"Mercury. I hear the retrograde is fantastic this time of year," she replied with a smile.
"Astrology joke. You're always up for a laugh, Katie. I like that about you. Well, if you're down Hallway B, I would love the company."
"Last time I visited you, Plato, we fucked for six hours, and Grim was pissed," Katie replied, giggling to herself.
"It's not my fault your pussy tastes so good. Your figure is astoundingly beautiful! I couldn't help myself. Plus all of the wine we drank that night, did play a part in our clothes hitting the floor," Plato replied with a smile.
"Plato!?," Ominous shouts
"Guess the boss needs to speak with me," Plato states as he gets up from the bar.
"Have fun with that. Don't piss him off too much," Katie replied with a wink.
Grim walks up behind Katie with his scythe draped over his left shoulder.
"So, how's Plato doing?," Grim asks.
"Fine. Ominous has him on some sorry of errand now. You know when the boss calls, we heed to it."
"Don't I know it! So this woman we're tracking down. Does she happen to have a name?," Grim inquires.
"Egypt is where we're headed, and Aphrodite is the contract," Katie states with a smile.

************************************

Sitting atop a camel, Grim overlooks the sea of sand ahead of him. The wind has kicked up, and the blankets of dirt flow freely across the plains. Dusk is a gorgeous time in October in Egypt, as the sunset kisses the skies with purples, oranges, reds, yellows, and light blues. The camel spits onto the ground, and looks away from the kicked up sand. It's just drank its fill of water, so the ride into Alexandria is a sweet one. Katie on a camel beside him, breathes in the fresh Autumn air, as it caresses her nose with the scents of pumpkin, myrrh, frankincense, patchouli, lavender, and chamomile. There closer to Alexandria then they anticipated, so they ride on into town, to speak with Aphrodite.
"How welcome do you feel we're going to be?," Katie asks Grim.
"Considering we haven't been to Alexandria in over 600 years, I'd say we're going to be strangers for a bit. Best go straight to the palace, ask the guards for her, and see what happens," Grim replies with concern in his voice.

Aphrodite is leaning on het thrown chair, sipping wine out of a golden chalice. Her guards stand watch with septers in hand, pointing towards the sky.
"Have Phelictus brought to my chambers, immediately. I have some unfinished business to discuss with him," Aphrodite tells one of her guards.
"As you wish, my Queen!," the guard replies.
Grim walks up the aisle towards Aphrodite, with outstretched hands.
"You're looking quite beautiful today, Queen Aphrodite. One might say that you're absolutely astonishing to behold," Grim compliments her, as he's approaching.
"You always were a flatterer, Grim. To what do I owe this most relished of visits?"
"Ominous wishes to have a meeting with you. It seems you've slipped under Death's radar, for a long, long time. What are you putting in your wine these days? Because we both know that you're not partaking from the Nile," Grim states while smiling.
Aphrodite gets up from her thrown, and santers over to where Grim is standing. Putting a finger on his ivory cheek bone, she traces the length of his skull.
"You remember that weekend in Pompeii, don't you Grim? How we both ruffled the sheets, until neither of us could move," she reminds him with a sly grin.
"That was quite the time we had, yes, Queen of the Nile."
"And your promise to keep me safe, from any wrongdoers?," she asks.
"I do."
"Then what need have I, to entertain such a scoundral as Ominous?"
Snatching her hand from his face, and pulling it slowly downwards, "Because if you don't come with me, I'll have Hades himself, come collect your worthless corpse. Do I make myself clear?," Grim asks.
"Fine! But just know that I don't leave my thrown unattended, on purpose.," she hisses back at him.
Grim traces his hand down Aphrodite's spine, and she falls dead into his arms.
Grim turns to Katie, "It's time to go."
Katie takes Aphrodite from Grim's arms, and drapes her over her body. Grim looks at the guards, and they drop dead instantly.
"I'll be back for you fellas next time. Sweet dreams until then," Grim days to the dead bodyguards, as him and Katie walk past them.

Opening the Thunder Cloud, Grim walks through, and Katie follows suit.
Ominous is waiting at the portal exit, as Grim and Katie enter Hell.
Looking at Aphrodite's body flung over Katie's shoulder, "Is she going to wake up?"
Grim walks past Ominous and laughs, "That's your department, boss. Not mine. Happy Halloween!"