I thought I should prepare myself since the first time I choose to be an actress. That I shouldn't have and mustn't fall in love with another character just to build a good chemistry.
I have been sleeping for 2 days after crying all night long. Not because Johny was cheating on me. But still because Finn. I'm just so done with him, he ignored me, then gave me bad words. You know when you love someone too much, but you don't deserve what you actually do, I've filming with him for about 3 months. And it took much memories, and my first kiss.
I never tell to anybody that it was my first kiss. Just finding a good time for that. Karen said, while I can't come to some talkshow or anything, that talkshow's date should be changed or it goin' to be without me. But they still choose to wait until we have the time. Gladly!
I take a bath until 2 days-no-bath. I dress myself up because I feel like today I'm gonna eat so much things at home! Because there are a lot of delivery from people. They thought I'm sick because Jae told them I was sick. If he said I was heartbroken, I'm gonna dead by Karen. I swear.
So this is my hommie outfit look like : This is from Lilia. Last weekend she gave me this. Couple with Lil and Maddie.
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I go to the fridge to find some milk and cereals. Shit. Out of stock. So I decided to ask Mrs. Keys some cereals because my parents will never let me eat anything first before I get my cereals or breads.
I immediately go to Mrs. Keys room and I got it. Big thanks to her. I insert my room's password and open the door. I close it happily because I got food. When I turned around, I drop every single cereals I bring and sculpting for a while.
He looks at me from my hair to my toes. And trying to say hi to me. But he just gulped.
Then I immediately realize I've sculpted at him for a couple seconds and I just look away, taking all of my cereals. "How did you get in?" I asked with a flat accents.
"Your.. your wallet."
"So, what's your problems again?" I said while taking all my cereals to the table and bravely look at him. I know my eyes can't handle those. We're separated for about 3 meters long.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything I did to you."
"I'm sorry, Amanda, I just hate drama over this whole world. I can't stop being annoyed of people's forcing us to be together. It just made me to stay away from you. And I know it was the dumbest decision ever."
"That's okay. I know everyone has their own thoughts." I said with faking a smile.
"Sorry for being rude to you this whole time."
I turned back and walk until he continues his sentence.
".. then I realised that I love you."
I stopped.
"I was so broken when I know you and Orlando were dating. I realised I just lost someone who loves me so much, who cares to me so much. I feel like I'm so fucking dumb for acting like I ignored you, I...."
Without think anything again, I turned myself back and walk to him, I kissed him.
"Sorry I'm gonna take my second kiss in my entire life,"
I kissed that soft lips for the second time. I looped my hands on his neck and hug him. I love him so much. He looped his hands on my waist. He hugs me and carrying me to my bed. He stroke my hair, my neck, and every single parts of my body. My leg, and even my chest. I love him so much.
