My life has been nothing but hardcore and dangerous ever since I can remember. Gangs, drugs, violence, and death were all I knew. But someone came into my life and showed me that there was a way out. I wanted that happiness. But getting to happiness...
"I'm out D. I can't do this no more. I want something better in my life, and doin all this gang shit is not it." I yelled in my soon to be ex's face. I finally made the decision to better myself. To be the young lady I could be.
"Oh so what, the gang ain't good enough for yo ass no more? Hu? You too booshie for us real niggas now? You know what fuck you then cray." he yelled using my street name.
"Fuck me? Darius I'm only 18 years old and I have seen more deaths than a fucking army. Half of them by my own damn gun. I'm tired of going to jail, I'm tired of the drugs and the killings, I'm done and I'm done with you as well!" I screamed. His eyes turned a shade darker as he slowly walked up to me. Our noses were inches apart.
"The only way you will be done with me, is if yo ass is 6 feet under bitch." he slowly said.
"Hey! Is everything ok here?" I turned to see officer C.J behind me with her hand on her gun.
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My savior has come. This woman was the reason I'm bettering myself. Every time I got arrested she would come to my cell and tell me how good of a person I am and that I could do better. At first it was like whatever but sooner or later, her words started to make sense. She believed in me when nobody else did. Not even myself.
I don't know her name but I remember seeing her initials on her wallet. I have been calling her that every since I met her 4 years ago. We formed a bond each time she arrested me. I would joke around and tell her that she should let me have a threesome with her and her husband, even though I didn't know him. She was like a big sister to me, and I have grown to love her.
"Oh so you tryin to set me up now hu?" Darius said backing away from me shaking his head slowly and looking back and fourth between us two women. I shook my head and headed to officer C.J. I was afraid for her life. This was not a part of town a cop should be in, let alone a female.
"I'm good, I was just ending this chapter of my life, and like you said, it feels good." I said and she smiled at me. It was a proud smile. Something I have never witnessed before. Not even from my own mother.
"Oh so this is the bitch that turned yo head? Ain't that some shit? You know what, I don't give a damn if you a cop or not. You ain't getting away with this." he said.
"Young man, is that a threat?" she said now placing her hand back on her gun and stepped towards him. She was alone in this, with only me to have her back, but in this area, Darius can have backup in the shadows. I don't panic much but today my panic meter was off the scale.
"Look lets just go ok, please!" I begged her. Her dark eyes were dead set on Darius. She was a strong woman but I'm afraid her strength was no match for him. But soon she finally gave in and tuned to walk away.
"I'm thinkin Arby's what about you?" she asked me as we were walking.
"I can eat a cow right now, so I'm thinking about every restaurant on earth." I said as we laughed.
"Im proud of you Journie." she said to me as she patted my back. I felt so happy to hear her say that. We almost reached the car until Darius spoke.
"Aye yo cray? You wanna end dis? Well here is how its gonna end." I turned to see what he was talking about and saw his gun pointed at me but before I could react the gun went off and I found myself on the grown with blood splattered on me. I laid on the ground shocked at what just happened. That's strange.....I felt no pain....all this blood but no pain? that's when I noticed it wasn't my blood but officer C.Js.
"NO!" I screamed. I crawled to her and grabbed her in my arms. The bullet hit her in the middle of her chest. In our gang, we called that shot a time zone. If you don't get it treated on time, you will die. I have shot many time zones in my life, some fatal, some not.
"I'll see you soon cray. Your time will come to." Darius yelled. I snatched officer C.J's gun out of her belt and aimed it but did not see Darius. He ran off into the shadows.
"Call for help." she said weakly giving me her cell phone. I dialed 911 as quick as I could.
"Hello, please help! She been shot and I...I need help please just get here please please please!" I yelled not even letting the dispatch talk. I was in shock, I was crying, I was scared.
"miss please, we need to know your location. Is the victim responsive?" the dispatch asked all these useless ass questions that I didn't want to answer.
"JUST GET YALL ASSES ON GROVE STREET RIGHT NOW! A COP HAS BEEN SHOT!" I yelled hangin up. The cops, fire department, and ambulance usually don't come fast around this neighborhood, but when it's a situation like this, they hurry for their own. I put the phone down and placed my attention back on her.
"I'm not ready. I'm not ready to go." she cried holding her chest. This made me cry harder. I heard sirens in the background which let me know they were close.
"You gotta be ok for me cause I need you. You got me this far please. Fight it. Fight please!" I yelled crying my eyes out. She closed her eyes and cries some more. Then her eyes popped open as if she realized something. Then pain spread across her face.
"My husband.....tell my husband I love him and I'm so sorry." she said. No no no. she ain't saying her goodbyes yet. She's gonna live....she has to live.
"No, cause your gonna tell him yourself when they heal you. You owe me a threesome remember?" I joked which made her smile a little.
"N..Never." she said making me giggle. I rocked her while I waited for the ambulance.
"When this is over, I'm gonna go back to school. I'm gonna graduate just like you suggested, so you need to buy you a dress and some shoes for my graduation. I'm gonna get a job and get out of my druggie moms house. And I'm gonna make you proud. But you got to be with me ok. I need you there to see me through this. I want you to watch me change. I can't do this without you. I mean, what if I mess up? You need to be the one to straighten me out. Will you do that?" I asked but there was no response. I continued rocking her and crying not looking down at her cause I already knew she was gone, but I couldn't bare to see it.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered to her, still not looking down. When the ambulance came 3 minuted later. I gently laid her down and ran in the shadows before They could see me. They pronounced her dead. I already knew but them saying it hit me hard. Like the reality just hit me. She is gone. This lady, this friend, that I have known since I was 14, the only person that gave a damn about me.....is gone.
